DATE: April 2008
TITLE:
Sheaves of Wheat
AUTHOR: losingntrnslatn (LosingInTranslation, Jennifer)
DISCLAIMER: Don’t own anything associated with the show… I
just like playing with the characters in it from time to time. Dance Monkeys!
Dance!
RATING: Teen/PG
SPOILERS: Through US Aired Episodes
WARNING: CD – Character Death
PAIRINGS: GSR
WORD COUNT: 2208
PROMPT: Earth: Wheat
SUMMARY: Coming to terms with a death, they seek solace
in each other.
A/N: This is my second prompt in this ficathon. I wrote the first one within hours of receiving
the prompt and felt the need for a real challenge, so I asked for another. I
did some research and had two pretty strong ideas, but in the end, I decided
someone needed to die to make me happy. Must be that evil streak of mine coming
through again. And thanks to the
dastardly works of Darth Real-Life, this one is largely un-beta’d.
I did have a couple people read through it, so I have to have faith that I
managed to get all the typos out. :D
REVIEWS: Reviews are the way I know if people are
enjoying the work or not. So, if you leave one, THANKS! And if not, I hope you
found at least a little something to brighten your day, and thanks for taking
the time to read.
Sheaves of Wheat
Sitting
on the sofa, both dressed for the occasion, they waited together. Silence
seemed to be what they shared. Two people overcome with grief at the passing of
someone precious in their lives. His dark suit, dull in the dim light of the
living room, was in opposition to the delicate patterns barely visible on her
navy blue dress. She had wondered if it was more appropriate to wear black, but
he reasoned to her that the dark blue color was more than sufficient for
someone like her.
He tried
to assuage her concerns by telling her that they needed to celebrate the
passing of someone so dear to them, and that he was certain no one would think
any less of her for the rich blue dress. When he took her hand in comfort and
squeezed it, she merely nodded and tried not to let him see her tears. They
were both feeling so much pain, but in each other they seemed to find solace.
Once
more, he looked at his watch, almost as though he was willing the time to
advance. Or perhaps, he simply wanted it to turn back, so that he might regain
that which he had lost; that which they all had lost. She asked again, if it
was almost time to go, and his only answer was to take her hand and bow his
head. They still had plenty of time to wait.
Their
twin presence of grief left a vacuum of light in the room. They were a black
hole, swirling and taking shape as all the light was sucked into the vortex of their
combined pain. Mourning permeated the room and became palpable with barely a
glance into their sorrowful faces.
A
stuttered sigh escaped her slender throat, and she found herself leaning into
his arm for some kind of human connection. The grief was so consuming to him
that he failed to notice her until she hung onto his forearm and rested her
head against his shoulder. When she sniffled, he reached into his pocket and
then gave her the handkerchief he withdrew.
She took
it from his hand and softly whispered a thank you before shyly wiping the tears
from her face. It was in grief that they seemed to have bridged the gap between
them, making every gesture familiar and welcome.
Silence
continued to be their common bond, quietly sitting in contemplation of the task
ahead of them; the funeral. Their gaze was fixed in front of them, staring off
into nothing. Though they drew comfort from their proximity to each other, they
seemed unable to speak to one another beyond simple acknowledgements.
The
thousand yard stare broke for her first, and she glanced down at the coffee
table in the hopes of finding something real to focus on. Her eyes fell onto
the unusual flower arrangement he placed there before changing for the funeral.
There
were peach colored roses and bright yellow daffodils, accented with greenery,
and it was all tied around a very thick sheaf of wheat. She had never seen
anything like it before. Even though it was quite beautiful, she was confused
by the meaning.
Reaching
out, she brushed her fingers along one of the rosebuds. His attention was still
unfocused, so she had to turn and speak before she got him to acknowledge her
again. “I don’t understand.”
He
finally broke his gaze and looked down at the coffee table in front of them.
“What?”
“The
flowers… I don’t understand.” Her fingers played with the rows of grain at the
top of the arrangement.
He
sighed, feeling the comfort from the words of another enter his mind with her
question. "‘I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the
ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces
many seeds.’”* Smiling at his recollection of the quote, he turned to find her
confused expression waiting for him. “John, twelve;
twenty-four. Sheaves of wheat have long been a revered symbol in
Christianity. The Russian Orthodox Church requires the use of the grains in
funeral rites, as it signifies the bounty and beauty of life on earth.”
Picking
up the arrangement, he turned it over to stand upright and continued, “Within Irish
Heraldry, a sheaf of wheat was meant to show plentifulness
and the achievement of hope, as well as the natural fertility of the fields in
a given area. And of course it is often used to represent Saint Kieran in a
show of respect for his act of blessing the corn crop.”
Laying
the sheaf into her hands, he went on, “Along with being a common memorial in
agricultural communities, it is also used by many to symbolize the fruitful and
productive life of a person of faith.” Releasing a deep breath of air, he
explained, “And when I was trying to decide what to bring today, I couldn’t
think of another thing that would signify his life better than this.”
She
nodded her head, though he could tell she was still confused. He scooted
forward and turned to face her, “He was a good man, his life was full, and its
impact felt by many. He deserves to be remembered for the good in his life.”
“Yeah, he
does.” She tried to find a smile to show him that she understood, but the
corners of her lips only trembled slightly before she looked down into her lap.
That was when he realized just how much they both had lost.
Without
warning, she asked the questions he had been dreading, “Why now? Why when we’ve
just found each other did he have to go?”
Choking back
the pain he felt with her words, he fought to give her some measure of comfort.
“I can’t answer that for you. I do know that these last months have been the
happiest that I’ve seen him.” He cautiously placed a hand over one of hers and
reaffirmed that information for her. “Having you home, with him, meant more to
him than anything else in the world.”
“I guess
so.” She gave the sheaf back to him and leaned back into the couch with a sigh.
“I just wish we’d gotten more time.”
Before he
could voice a response to her sorrowful statement, another figure joined them
in the living room. A gentle hand reached out and was laid over her shoulder.
“Just by being with him, he felt like things were right. Finding you after all
this time, that was right to him.”
That time
her smile managed to come out a little more, and she looked up at the woman
beside her to say, “Thanks, Sara… I guess it’s just hurts too much right now.”
She turned her eyes back to the arrangement of flowers and barely whispered,
“Finding him, and then losing him, and I still don’t know where I stand… It’s
tough.”
With her
gaze fixed on the flowers, she missed the careful acknowledgement between the
people at either side of her. But when the woman knelt down to take her hand,
the man on the couch did the same and she looked from one to the other in
confusion.
“We’ve
talked about it, and if you’d like… You can stay with us, Dakota.” Looking from
the woman’s soft brown eyes, to the man’s deep set blue ones, she struggled to
understand what they were implying, because she did not want to hold out too
much hope. “We have the room, and I’d like to think Jim would approve.”
She
looked away from Sara’s kind and gentle face to find some hint in Grissom’s
lined and stoic expression. He only closed his eyes and nodded his head.
Between them passed a silent acceptance, but with the woman she felt a need to
reach out. Her arms quickly wrapped around Sara’s neck, and she accepted their
offer.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
It had
been a long and difficult day for him. Saying goodbye to the only true friend
he had ever known had taken its toll on his spirit. After changing out of his
suit, he went in search of comfort, and he found it.
Passing
by the spare bedroom he was stopped by what his eyes beheld. Sara was picking
up a pair of dress shoes from the floor, a small navy blue dress thrown over
her arm. When she stood up from her crouch, Sara leaned over and brushed the
sleeping girl’s hair from her face and then reached to turn down the bedside
lamp. As she turned to walk out of the room, she saw him standing there
watching her. She only held a finger to her lips and gestured for him to stay
silent.
After
quietly pulling the door closed, she gently fell into his waiting embrace. He held
her there for a moment, gently rocking them both in place. It was a comfort to
them both, and Grissom never failed to find solace with Sara’s arms wrapped
around him.
When he
began to notice a dampness on his shirt, he looked
down to find tears filling Sara’s eyes. “What is it?”
She tried
to shake it off, but when he refused to look away, she finally relented. “I’m
just worried. What if Social Services thinks we’re too
old? Are we really equipped to help her? I just hope we’re doing the right
thing. She’s already been through so much.”
Grissom
pulled her in tighter to his body and laid his cheek against her head. “She’s
an eleven year old girl, with a lifetime of experiences she shouldn’t have ever
had, so I think Social Services will be glad to have some place to park her for
the next seven years.” Sara sighed with his statement. “And as far as being
equipped to help her… I can’t think of anyone more suited to helping a smart,
tough-minded girl in crisis than you. If by no other means than by example, you
will excel in helping her through anything that may come her way.”
She
squeezed him a little tighter and nodded into his chest. “Thank you…for
everything.”
Letting
go, he kept an arm around her back, gestured at the door with the sleeping
girl, and moved them toward the living room. “I haven’t done anything, Sara.”
“Talking
to her today… You really helped her, you know?” Sara continued to lean into
them as they walked through the apartment.
“I was
just trying to make sense of it all myself. She’s right…it just doesn’t seem
fair that Jim went through all of that to find her, and bring her home, only to
be taken away like that. He’s dodged the bullet so many times, to end up in the
wrong place at the wrong time like that just feels tragic.” When they reached
the couch, they both collapsed into it. As he tried to sort through the turmoil
in his mind, Sara set down the girl’s things and then tucked herself in under
his arm.
“Can you
imagine? In the span of six months, he loses a daughter, finds out he has a
granddaughter that’s been in foster care for years, fights to get her out of
the system, brings her home, finally starts to have some real happiness in his
life again, and then some punk kid with nothing better to do than spray a store
with gunfire takes it all away.” Grissom shook his head with the pain of it
all. “Life can be so unfair, Sara. Is that what I tell this girl? ‘Sorry, kid.
Life just sucks sometimes. Get used to it.’ How am I supposed to explain this
to her, when I can’t understand it myself?”
Laying a
soft hand over his heart, Sara exhaled into his shirt and he could feel her
body molding into his. “I don’t think you have to tell her that… I’m pretty
sure she already knows it, Gil. She hasn’t said too much to me yet, but Jim let
me know that she had told him some really heartbreaking stories. So, I think we
just need to follow his lead.”
He
covered her hand with his atop his chest and asked, “And what lead would that
be?”
“We just
have to be there for her, and when she’s ready, she’ll open up. And if it
starts to get bad, then we can push a little.” He felt Sara turn her gaze up
and he looked down to meet it. “I think we both owe Jim that much.”
Smiling
for the first time in days, he knew that her words were the truth. With the lifting
of a small portion of the grief weighing down his heart, he kissed Sara’s
forehead and smiled again. “You seem to have this all figured out, already.
How’d you get so smart?”
As her
mouth turned up at the corners, it revealed her endearing and contagious smile.
“Experience has taught me well.” She ended her cryptic statement with a wink,
and then returned to cuddling up into his embrace.
“And just
what experience might that be?”
Sara
squeezed him a little tighter before she said, “Simple really… It’s the same
tactic I had to use with you.”