DATE: July 2008
TITLE: Isotopes & Irritants
AUTHOR: LosingInTranslation (Jennifer, losingntrnslatn)
DISCLAIMER: Don’t own anything
associated with the show… I just like playing with the characters in it from
time to time. Dance Monkeys! Dance!
RATING: Teen/PG
SPOILERS: Season 8
PAIRINGS: Hints of GSR
WORD COUNT: 1545
PROMPT: “Yo,
SUMMARY: Greg gets stuck showing a new CSI around the lab, but
discovers it’s not all bad. Written for the Geek Fiction
Summer Blockbuster Ficathon.
A/N: There is a certain aspect of my preferences that always
seems to come out in my stories, but I’ve decided it’s not all bad. I’m pretty
sure you’ll figure out what that predilection is when you’re done. Thanks
always to my loyal and sorely over-worked betas. They really do deserve a lot
of praise, but they’ll just have to survive on all the sucking up I do. ;)
REVIEWS: Reviews are the way I know if people are enjoying the
work or not. So, if you leave one, THANKS! And if not, I hope you found at
least a little something to brighten your day, and thanks for taking the time
to read.
Isotopes
& Irritants
The last thing he wanted to be doing right now was showing
the new guy around the lab. Nick was off the clock chasing down a lead on Warrick’s shooting, and he was stuck taking some fresh
faced kid straight off a college campus on a tour of the lab. Giving him the
once over, Greg supposed the guy probably still had his mother buying his
underwear and putting his name on the waistband.
He was a nice enough kid, but Greg was far too preoccupied
with everything else to give him much more than the basic schpiel
as they wound through the corridors. The introductions with Henry went well,
and it appeared as though the new guy had been doing his homework about the lab
and the people in it. He and Henry seemed to hit it off, when he began asking
Henry about some new toxicology test that was all the rage in his bio-chem classes at
In the print lab Greg got to see the kid flustered and
befuddled by the fiendishly wise-cracking Mandy. As they left, he made sure to
whisper to the kid, “Look, but don’t touch.” Nick is a good guy, but he also
has a little bit of the green-eyed monster and could easily wipe the floor with
the kid’s dead carcass if he ever caught him flirting with his girl.
After they got done playing with the new digital voice
analyzer in Archie’s A/V lab, it was time to head over to DNA. Greg knew that
Wendy was getting ready to take her field exam, but he hoped she was still in
the lab. She and the new kid would be working together quite a lot in the next
few months, and he wanted to make sure they got off on the right foot.
As they walked over to DNA Greg smirked a little to himself
as he tried to count the number of times he had referred to the new guy as a
kid, and how it was not so long ago that he was that kid. Always the youngest
in the lab, and until now the youngest in the field, Greg was really beginning
to feel like the perpetual kid at CSI. This truly was a milestone for him, and
he decided right then and there that he would enjoy it for all it was worth.
When they entered the DNA lab, Wendy was feverishly skimming
through her field manual and failed to notice their arrival. Greg cleared his
throat and her head shot straight up. “Jesus, Greg! Don’t sneak up on me like
that… I thought you were Ecklie, or something.”
“Gee, thanks. You really know how to make a guy feel loved.”
Greg winked at her before he turned to make the formal introductions. “Wendy,
I’d like you to meet your fellow field rookie. A.J. Quiñones,
this is our new part-time CSI Level Two, Wendy Simms. Or at least, she will be
so long as she passes that test tomorrow.”
“No pressure, Greg… Thanks a lot.” Wendy socked him gently
in the arm before extending a welcoming hand to the new guy. “Glad you could
join us, A.J. It really is a lot of fun working here, even if it does get a
little hectic most of the time.”
“And you’re guaranteed to only get blown up once or twice
every few years.” Hodges slithered his way in through the other door without
notice. “I see we’re busy making the introductions, Greg. You must have missed
me earlier.”
Hodges moved to insert himself between Wendy and the new guy
and Greg was forced to stifle a laugh at the man’s efforts. Greg rolled his
eyes at Wendy before addressing the trace analyst. “No, actually, I was just
hitting the high-points first, Hodges. I didn’t want to scare him off when he
walked in the door.”
“Then I must have been away from my desk when you came by
the first time.” Hodges quickly tried to dismiss Greg’s insult and held out his
hand to the new CSI. “David Hodges, trace analysis, and you are?”
To his credit, the kid seemed to pick up on the problem
right away and Greg was impressed with his quick witted answer. “A.J. Quiñones, and I’m sorry, but I’m not interested. I prefer
men with hairlines on the forehead, and I’m not terribly attracted by that gray
thing you’ve got going on.”
Grinding his jaw back and forth as he snatched his hand from
the young man’s grip, Hodges tried desperately to recover. “A.J.,
huh? I typically find that anyone going by their initials has a
particularly hideous name they are trying to cover up. What’s
it stand for?”
“If you ask my Puerto Rican grandmother, it’s Adriano Jesus
Del Madre Calderone Quiñones…”
His accent took on a decidedly Spanish flavor as he recited the name. “But my
diplomas from
Greg could see it on Hodges’ face, the joke was making its
way to his lips and he just knew that it was a mistake. But there was nothing
in the world that would make him stop the irritating little sycophant from
making an ass of himself. “
“You know, that’s been used almost as much as ‘E.T. phone
home.’ Get back to me when you have something more original. And not like that
ridiculous article you wrote about the use of isotopes to pinpoint geographic
location.” A.J. hit Hodges right where he lived, in his ego.
Greg had no idea what he was talking about, but before he
could ask for more information Wendy chimed in. “I thought that was a new
technique.”
A.J. was fast on the draw, stopping Hodges just as he was
pulling in a breath to rebut his claim. “Maybe in forensics…but archaeologists
have been using that technique for years. I read an article in high school
about this group from the Australian Archaeological Association using isotopic
signatures to determine the localities of aboriginal remains. By making an
analysis of the stable carbon and nitrogen isotopes, they were able to
categorize each set of remains into a specific region of
“I attended a lecture that was sponsored by the Smithsonian
where Pate discussed the reliability of the analyses when dating bone collagen
in all areas of the world, given the availability of proper baseline data.”
Grissom stood in the doorway flipping nonchalantly through the papers on his
clipboard. He paused, looked up pensively for a moment and then said, “2002 or
2003, I can’t remember. Must have been the Winter Symposium,
which would make it January 2003.” Finally noticing the new face in the
mix, he dropped the clipboard in front of him and removed his glasses. “Why the lesson in archaeological identification techniques?”
Greg stepped in between Hodges and the new guy to properly
guide the situation. “Ah, Grissom, we were, um, just talking about some old
articles.” Wendy worked to hide her smirk as Greg took control. “Have you met
our new guy yet?”
“Not formally, no.” There was a glint in Grissom’s eyes that
Greg recognized, and he knew there was a joke hiding in there. “However, I have
heard the name cried out in many a bad Stallone impersonation over the years.”
Grissom held out a hand to the young man and welcomed him, “Pleasure to have
you on board,
“Thank you, sir.” A.J. shook the man’s hand with a little
more excitement than was necessary, but it was obvious he was happy to be
there.
“Ah, Wendy, can you give him the five cent tour so I can
borrow Greg for a moment?” Grissom never once made eye contact with Hodges as
he took over full control.
Wendy smiled and moved to stand next to the new guy as
Hodges shrank away from the obvious slight. “Yeah, sure,
Grissom.” However, Wendy was not as ready to let the slight go unnoticed.
As soon as Grissom and Greg were out of the room, she muttered, not quite under
her breath, “I guess somebody forgot to polish the teacher’s apple today.”
When A.J. chuckled, Hodges became indignant, “Watch it,
Simms.” He turned sharply and marched quickly out of her lab.
As he passed Grissom and Greg in the hallway, Greg shook his
head, “How long have you been waiting to nail him on that one?”
Grissom only shrugged and put his glasses on to read from
the clipboard once more. After a few deliberate moments he merely said, “Ever
since Sara told me he wanted full credit for the article before she had chance
to explain to him that the technique worked on archaeological studies all the
time.” When he looked up through the top of his glasses, that devilish glint
was back.
Dedicated to my
good friend Cheryl...because she just loves to phone home.
:D