If I Can Help You In Any Way… by LosingInTranslation

DATE: October 2006

TITLE: If I Can Help You In Any Way…

AUTHOR: LosingInTranslation (AKA Jennifer, losingntrnslatn)

DISCLAIMER: Don’t own anything associated with the show… I just like playing with the characters in it.

RATING: M - Mature (for later chapter)

PAIRINGS: GSR

SPOILERS: Post Ep for "Gum Drops" through "Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang" (specifically relating to events in "Secrets & Flies")

SUMMARY: What was it that made Grissom finally see the light? Could it really have been so simple?

A/N: This one was born from a repeat viewing of "Secrets & Flies" and having something of an epiphany about what might have been the catalyst for the relationship starting. I also blame being sequestered from my laptop as I traveled to Atlanta for a convention. If I couldn't work on my angst-monster, I had to write something. ;)

ACKNOWLEDGMENT: Once again, my trusty beta has enthusiastically supported the writing process... Personally though, I think she's ready to scalp me for getting her hooked on writing, too. :D

If I Can Help You In Any Way…

Chapter 1

Most people at the crime lab eat at the greasy spoon across the street from the building, but after basically becoming a vegetarian, Sara rarely chose to dine there anymore. Instead, she had found a quaint little place a few blocks away that served the standard breakfast fare without using any animal products (it was the closest thing to vegan she was likely to ever become with her need of dairy on a regular basis). The couple that ran the place were fellow Northern California transplants, like herself, and they were always happy to see her. However, they were more pleased with the fact that she seemed to rarely eat alone anymore. In recent months, she had begun sharing her breakfast spot with someone else, and it was a welcome change for everyone concerned.

The first time Candace and Mark asked her about the new man in her life Sara blushed and then told them that he was not new, nor was he technically in her life. When they both gave her a disbelieving smirk she tried to explain that they were merely colleagues decompressing from their shift. Though she dropped the matter at the time, Candace always managed to make a pointed remark here and there about the man each time they ate together. “Sure looks like more than work to me… Not sure I’d be able to resist that myself… I sure don’t look at my dishwasher like that… Do you need two boxes, or just one?.. He picks up the check an awful lot for someone ‘not technically’ in your life.”

One day, when Sara had simply reached her limit she shot back with, “Look, we’ve been friends for years, but we had a falling out a while back and after nearly two years of barely tolerating each other, I’m just glad to have my friend back. So, please don’t push it anymore.” Sara had not meant to be so short with Candace, but she truly was afraid the woman would make her breakfast companion uncomfortable. And she really had missed her friendship with Grissom during that awful period in both of their lives. Something was better than nothing at all, in her eyes.

As she sat alone at the table by the window sipping her tea, Sara thought about the first time she had brought him to The Breakfast Garden. It was the day after they had found Nick buried in that coffin, and she had found Grissom still holding vigil at the scene. Jim Brass had called her and asked if she could try to drag him away. She told him that she might not be the best choice, but Jim had asked her to try anyway. Despite her apprehension, she never could refuse the grizzled detective, and so she made her way to the site.

She had found him sifting through the dirt, collecting insects and trying to find anything that would help him close the case. In her mind, the case was closed, but there seemed to be something driving him onward, and no one had been willing to confront him about it. Sara thought that her history of confronting the man, consequences be damned, was probably why Brass had asked her to step up to the plate on this one. In the end, he had been right, because Sara had been the one to jar him from his single-minded quest in self-destruction.

When she had dragged him away from the scene with a gentle pull on his arm, she instantly saw that something had broken in the man. She was not sure what that something was, be it pride or arrogance or even his spirit, but seeing him reduced to such a state had nearly broken her heart.

Finding that he had not eaten in more than a day, she stopped at her favorite spot on the way to drive him home. She had ordered for the both of them while he was in the restroom washing up. After he shuffled back out to the table they ate in silence and when it was done, she had driven him home.

As he had slipped out of her car, he kept his gaze away from her and left with one parting remark, “Thank you, Sara… For everything.”

Since that gray and dreary day things had finally turned the corner in their relationship, and the breakfasts quickly became a comfortable habit. At first, it was once a week. Then, it was whenever they had a rough case. And then finally, it seemed to have become their daily ritual.

Today was one of those rare exceptions because she had just gotten back from a tough case out in Lincoln County with Nick and Grissom was away teaching a class at the body farm. As she sat there sipping her tea and staring blindly out the window, Sara tried to reconcile her thoughts about the case, but more importantly about how the case had affected her partner and friend.

Nick had become deeply involved with the case and she had worried about his state of mind more than once during their investigation. She was most concerned about his violent outburst during the interrogation of one of their teen suspects.

Before she had a chance to delve too much further into her thoughts, Sara’s attention was diverted by something blocking the sun from the window and then the sound of a knuckle wrapping on the glass. Regaining her focus once again, she looked up to make out the offending party, only to find a pleasantly smirking Gil Grissom on the other side of the glass.

She acknowledged his presence with a shy smile and motioned for him to come inside. As he disappeared from sight she self-consciously checked to make sure she was presentable, and then went to rise from her seat to greet her boss.

He reached the table at nearly a trot and casually placed a hand upon her shoulder to stop her from rising. “Don’t get up… I didn’t want to disturb, I was just following a hunch.” He quickly took the seat opposite her and placed the napkin in his lap. “I stopped by the lab on my way in and Warrick told me I should get with you about your case. Said you were both worried about Nick… And I took the chance you’d be here sorting it all out.”

Just then, Candace came to the table with a steaming cup of coffee and Grissom regarded her with a friendly smile. “The usual, Dr. Grissom?”

“Yes, that would be nice, thank you…” That was when he suddenly remembered his manners and stumbled through the question, “Ah… I’m sorry… Sara, do you mind if I join you?”

Sara smiled with only the right side of her mouth and nodded, “Of course.” She looked up at the woman and added, “Go ahead and get me the usual, too… Looks like I’m eating after all.”

Grissom gave her a worried look and asked, “You weren’t eating?”

“Nah…” Sara shrugged it off as inconsequential, “It’s been a rough few days and I was just trying to relax with some tea before heading home to crash.”

Grissom suddenly became very unsure of his actions and began to apologize, “I’m sorry… I should leave and just let you get some rest. I just thou-” He was about to stand and motioned to Candace when Sara cautiously placed her slender hand upon his tense forearm.

“It’s okay… Really.” Sara’s eyes softened as their eyes met and he returned to his seat as she added, “I could use a sounding board on this one.”

They ate… They talked… She shared her concerns about Nick, and he promised to keep a closer eye on him… The routine was back.

Chapter 2

Walking into the hallway Grissom was shaken from the report in his hands by Catherine’s voice, “Oh, hey, Ecklie said you wanted to see me.”

Looking at her he remembered why he was looking for her and asked, “Yeah. A Dr. Ryan called and said that you verbally harassed her?”

Catherine looked terribly non-plussed by the possible accusation. She probably expected something would come of her meeting with the woman. “I met Dr. Ryan in the course of my investigation. She runs an organization called Project Sunflower. Philosophically, I completely disagree with the organization. Perhaps I expressed myself.”

Raising an eyebrow, he hazarded the question, “Which means?”

With a slightly exasperated tone she answered, “I'm pro-choice. I'm in favor of stem cell research. I'm sorry she felt harassed, but my comments were in response to her statements. I don't think I was out of line.”

Grissom instantly remembered the biblical passage he had used in the past to deal with such people and shares it with Catherine, assuming she will follow his train of thought, “You should have cited Leviticus 17:11. ‘The life of the flesh is in the blood.’ Taken literally, life doesn't begin when the sperm meets the egg, but 18 days later. When the embryo is infused with blood.”

Dumbfounded, Catherine asked, “Is that your position?”

He shrugged it off and said, “Well, if I were speaking with a woman who prefers theology to science, it's a position she'd find tough to refute.”

Shaking her head in disbelief, Catherine tried to grasp what was happening, “So are we having a philosophical discussion here, or am I being reprimanded?”

Also shaking his head, because he could not figure out why she would be asking that question, he simply responded with, “I don't know. I’ve got to go to court.” And with that he continues past her through the hall, leaving Catherine in a near stupor.

When he turned the next corner he was halted once again, “Hey Gris?”

He did not need to look up, because the voice was completely familiar to him. “Yes, Sara.”

“Have you got a sec?” She grinned with her question and it made him almost want to stand there and continue talking to her, but he knew he had to get moving if he was going to make it to court in time.

“Well, only if you don’t mind walking and talking… I’m late for court.” His smirk told her it was okay and she put her arm out to direct him to continue walking as she stepped right into line for their brief conversation.

“I heard about your bug case… Do you think you can put that Thayer guy back in his place?”

Grissom scrunched up his brow and asked, “Do you know Thayer?”

Sara shrugged and said, “Not personally… I do know he’s been whoring himself out to some pretty controversial cases in the last year, but no one’s been able to refute his claims yet. I was kind of hoping you’d be able to put him in his place.” She shook her head and Grissom noted with a wry grin that she was truly invested in Thayer’s demise. It endeared her to him even further. “Those guys give science a bad name, and that just chaps my hide.”

Nodding his head Grissom responded with, “Agreed… But you will be happy to hear that I am fairly confident this…” He held up the report in his hands and continued, “will do a sufficient job of digging his reputation’s grave.”

Sara’s smile was all the reward he needed, but her words only made it better, “Nice! Glad to hear it, Gris.”

He fought to stifle his own smile and then asked, “So, was that all you wanted?”

She shrugged it off and said, “Yeah, and to let you know there might be a complaint from a Dr. Emily Ryan about Catherine.”

“You were there?” His brow was raised with the question, but mostly because he was not sure why she would be telling him about the incident.

“Yeah, we went there to get the vic’s records and the woman was a total whack job. Whatever she might tell Ecklie, Catherine held her own and was completely professional with the woman… Even when Ryan asked Cat a totally out of line question. I was pretty impressed she was able to keep her cool. I’m not sure I’d have been as calm with her.” Sara looked directly at him, “But I just wanted to give you the heads up, and let you know that anything she says would be totally baseless, in my opinion.”

He did smile that time, and stopped in front of his office door as he reached out, grasping her upper arm to say, “Thank you… I will be certain to let Conrad know the situation when I get done in court.”

She returned his smile, and then turned to leave. From over her shoulder she called, “Good luck with the worm!”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

If there was one thing that bothered Grissom more than anything, it was the perversion of pure science as a means to manipulate the truth. Dr. Mark Thayer, once a colleague of his, had recently become one of those pariahs in his eyes. The man had let greed become his motivation and left science in the shadows. When his testimony refuted accepted facts regarding the lifecycle of the black blowfly, Grissom was instantly suspicious. After having Archie review all of the video for possible tampering of the data contained therein, he had Henry run a tox panel on one of the samples from the man’s experiment. What he learned angered him more than anything, because the man had deliberately sprayed the pig specimen with malathion to retard the lifecycle and to give a few days leeway in order to exonerate the defendant, even though there was an eyewitness and more than adequate forensic evidence.

Grissom had just delivered the damning report of the presence of malathion in the experiment’s samples, and now he was just waiting for ADA Jeffrey Sinclair to feed him the question that would send the last nail into Dr. Mark Thayer’s professional coffin.

The ADA approached him and asked, “Is there any scientific rationale for spraying a pig with malathion before documenting a fly's life cycle?”

Almost immediately, the defense attorney stood and shouted, “Objection.”

Judge Whitherspoon’s response was swift, “Overruled.”

He fought to keep back the satisfied smile that was working its way through his brain and then answered, “The only rationale I can think of would be jury manipulation. Every

entomologist knows that early oviposition is undetectable because flies lay their first round of eggs inside body openings. Anyone reviewing the tape would assume that the eggs were being laid, when in fact they were not. If our lab had not tested the larvae for toxins, we would never have known that. Nor would the jury.” There it was, busted.

ADA Sinclair was not able to hide his smug expression when he offered, “Thank you. No further questions.”

The judge turned to the defense table and stated, “Counselor, your witness.”

The defense attorney fumbled with his response, “Uh, we have no questions at this time.”

The judge looked at her desk and returned with, “Oh, in that case, we are adjourned until 9:00 A.M. tomorrow morning.” She banged her gavel and the court was dismissed.

Grissom stepped down from the stand, no longer able to hide the smug expression he had been suppressing. Before he reached the gallery barrier, Mark Thayer stood up and met him on the floor.

His face filled with indignant rage, he said, “I want to talk to you.”

Without missing a beat, Grissom replied with, “I have nothing to say to you.”

Thayer’s face was becoming redder by the moment. “You impugned my character.”

His wit was certainly on his side at that moment when he asked, “What character?”

That was when the ADA stepped up to the good doctor and said, “Uh, excuse me, Dr Thayer.”

His annoyance was not hidden in the slightest as he answered, “What the hell do you want?”

That smug smile was firmly back in place when he said, “Well, to inform you that you have the right to remain silent. The DA's filing charges for perjury...” Sinclair motioned for the officers to step forward.

Thayer gave him an indignant groan and said, “Oh, my God...”

Sinclair continued along with his schpeel “...and obstruction of justice. We won't be accepting a plea.”

Mark Thayer turned and glared at Grissom. “This is all your fault.”

“I hope so.” The officers escorted Mark Thayer out of the courtroom and Grissom headed straight for the door.

Before he could reach the door, Undersheriff McKeen met him with a look of complete disbelief and astonishment on his face. “Grissom. Great work up there.”

Grissom simply shrugged off the praise with, “Actually, the work was done in the lab.”

Shaking his head, McKeen went on to explain, “When I took this job, I heard a lot of things about you.” There was a pregnant pause after that remark, and Grissom knew exactly what he meant, and where that information had probably come from. “If you ever need a favor, if I can help you in any way...”

Without thinking about it very much, Grissom simply responded, “You know, Sheriff, you could help me. I'm late delivering my team's personnel evaluations.”

Nodding his head emphatically, McKeen said, “I'll tell Ecklie. He'll backdate your cost-of-living adjustments.”

Grissom nodded, “Thank you.”

McKeen was still in awe of what had happened and wanted to show Grissom that he was serious about being in his corner. “So, Grissom, I'm not sure of your ambitions, but if you're interested in taking on more responsibility, maybe a promotion, I'd be glad to pass...”

Grissom regarded him with an enigmatic smile and said, “You know, Oscar Wilde once said, ‘Ambition is the last refuge of failure.’ I'm fine. Thanks.” With a broad smile on his face, Grissom headed out of the courtroom.

Chapter 4

It was one of those shifts. An early rollout on a high profile case that was an hour out of town, and Grissom was personally tapped by the sheriff to take the call. Warrick and Nick were still on a hot home invasion case, so they were not going to be able to leave. Catherine was going to have to run the shift and she would need at least one body, so that left him with taking Sara, since he still was not sure about her working with Catherine yet. When he had called her, she was still in bed, so to save time he told her he would pick her up on the way out of town.

The scene was a nightmare. It was an old, abandoned mine out in the hills, and after the highway patrol spotted a car where there should not have been one, they went to investigate. What they found was what prompted the call to the Clark County Sheriff’s office. The car was registered to the sheriff’s administrative assistant, and the body of her husband was found beside it. But the real fun came when one of the patrolman nearly fell through the ground in front of the car. When he shone his maglite into the hole, he found that they were parked over what appeared to be an old mine, and another body. Since the hole was created by the patrolman’s heavy feet, they knew there had to be another way that body got in there, so they went looking around and found the entrance to the mine

The sun had risen several hours prior, and while they had processed the scene by the car, they were still working the mine and its exterior. The mine entrance had seriously cramped quarters and Grissom had been forced to defer to Sara processing the inside of it, while he finished documenting the exterior.

Normally, that would not have been a problem, but Sara had brought one of those new digital cameras that she was so fond of, and he had no idea how to work it. Several times he had been forced to call into the interior of the mine to get Sara’s help in figuring it out. Each time he felt more and more like a doddering old fool for having to ask her how to operate the new piece of equipment. It could not have come at a worse time, just when he was trying to show her he was ready to commit himself to a life with her, he was becoming an aged moron.

He had been so proud of his accomplishments at the art show recently, that his confidence had been growing by leaps and bounds. This was a setback and he was not interested it dealing with it, which only led to more frustration with the camera. When he heard Sara’s voice coming from the mine, he turned just in time to see her arm extend out of the opening with an evidence bag dangling from it. “Can you get this please?”

He practically tripped over himself rushing to reach out for the bag. “Of course… Do you need any help?” When he took the bag from her grasp, their hands grazed each other for a single moment, but it was enough to ignite something within him.

“Nah… I’ll be back in a minute with the other bag. They just lifted the body and my kit through the hole up top, so this should be the last of it.” Her voice grew distant as she spoke, so he knew she was walking back to the scene.

He was standing there, leaning against the rocks when a bag was suddenly thrust through the opening, which startled him. “Sorry,” came her voice again, tinged with a hint of her amusement at surprising him.

“Yeah…” he took the bag from her and tried to move out of the way. “Do you need any help getting out?”

“You got some butter on ya?” His mind instantly twisted the meaning of her glib question into something that made him glad she could not see the blush rising in his cheeks. “Just stay back and be ready to catch me if I get suddenly un-stuck.”

A wry smile appeared at the corner of his mouth as he said, “Un-stuck, catch, got it.”

When she finally wiggled her way through the tight spot, his mind had gone to a million places that were entirely inappropriate for a crime scene. I’ve got to get this thing resolved before I make a serious fool of myself.

Huffing a little from the exertion, Sara leaned over, with her hands on her knees as she recovered from the feat. Looking up, she shielded her eyes from the sun. “Huh… I don’t remember seeing that when I went in there.”

“Yes, well, you did take a long time.” The quirk of his eyebrow was his way of telling her he was only joking.

“Yeah, whatever, Mr. Kodak… How bad did you mess up my camera?” She walked up to him and took the camera from his grasp, turning it over to check on its status. “Gris?”

He cringed, convinced that he probably did mess up the camera with all his fumbling. “Yes?” And then he was completely blinded by flash of bright light. Stumbling back into the rocks, he lost his footing and planted himself down on his butt.

“That was for the slow comment.”

Her laughter was his guide, since he was still a little flash blind as he struggled to stand up again. He found her hands wrapping themselves around his forearms and she pulled to help him back to his feet. He marveled at the strength in those remarkable, slender hands.

“Care to help a blind man to his car?”

Her stifled laughter was his reward, “C’mon…” She wrapped her arms through the crook of his elbow and proceeded to guide him to the Denali. “And there’s no use trying to make me feel guilty, because I still owe you for that business at the museum.”

He searched his brain trying to recall what she was referring to, because he had been trying so hard to impress her that night at the gallery showing. He supposed his puzzlement was showing on his face, because she cleared her throat and did her best impression of his voice, “‘When I first saw this series, I immediately thought of you.’ That was really weird, Grissom. Even for you.”

A confused frown immediately pressed into his face. He had made an honest admission about the pieces. While Keith Mallett’s work normally depicted scenes of African-American life, his series of female figures from a supper club setting had instantly brought Sara to his mind. Their lithe forms and elegant features, but mostly it was the legs; long and beautiful, just like Sara. “What was wrong with that?”

Sara grinned at his confusion and shook her head as she left him standing in front of the SUV. While she went to stow the evidence in the back of the vehicle, Grissom stood there replaying the whole thing in his head.

Walking through the gallery, stopping at each new piece, she seems much more interested in the pieces than he ever imagine she would be. He never pictured Sara as an art aficionado, and it was making it that much harder for him to figure out a way to actually discuss what he had decided.

“Oh wow… I never knew Mallett did a series like this.” He turns to see the female figure series that had always captivated him. It was a series depicting women in a supper club setting which reminded him of the vintage French café art he had always enjoyed. This was his moment.

“Oh yes, I actually have some prints of this series. It’s reminiscent of the works late in the Expressionist movement that I enjoy. It-”

“Expressionist? Really?” Sara interrupts his schpeel with the odd question.

Once he regains his composure he feels challenged by her question. “Why? What’s wrong with that?”

Sara shrugs him off and answers, “Nothing wrong, really… I guess just never pictured you as a fan of the Expressionists.”

“What does that mean?” With his words he realizes that he is now pouting at her assumption.

Her casual laughter helps to warm his heart as she answers, “I’m sorry, but Expressionism is so much about open, passionate and colorful depictions of life, and it’s such a stark contrast to your whole life…” There was a far away look in her eyes as she paused, and he found himself wanting to know why. “You aren’t exactly an open and expressive person, Grissom.”

A sudden panic struck his soul, because he knows, without a doubt, that she is right. It is his biggest regret in regards to their friendship and his biggest hurdle in attempting to start a relationship with her. In his panic, he forges ahead without thinking. “Perhaps, but I still enjoy it.” He turns back to the paintings and says, “This series particularly intrigued me, with the long angular features, the elegance of the lithe forms, the subtle use of light…” He pauses, hoping to gauge her reactions to his description, and seeing her looking at the pieces he takes the plunge. “When I first saw this series, I immediately thought of you.” Hearing her nearly choke on the wine she had been sipping caused him to panic further. “Because of their shape, or more because of their lines… Well, the way they present themsel-… You know what I mean.”

Thinking back, he suddenly realized what an idiot he had been: a fumbling, stuttering, love-sick moron. It was one of the many things that had frightened him about letting Sara into his heart; her undeniable affect on his mind. He was saved from further humiliation by the fact that Sara walked straight up to the passenger door and climbed into the Denali. Surprised by the move, he fumbled with the keys and then got in on the driver’s side.

As he put the key into the ignition she leaned against the door, pulled the brim of her ball cap down and said, “Drive, Jeeves.”

Deciding to go along with the joke he simply said, “As you wish, madame.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The drive back into town was relatively quiet, since Sara pretty much slept the whole way. The “relatively quiet” came from the fact that Sara seemed to have the odd habit of whimpering and moaning in her sleep. It was an oddly comforting sound as they drove along the highway. He was also glad for the time as he tried to figure out exactly what he should say once they arrived back at the lab.

His mind worked feverishly to flesh out the perfect words. In his mind, it all sounded perfect, but when he mumbled them under his breath, they were all hopelessly desperate. He also realized that no matter how he tried, everything was likely to fall short. There had been far too much pain passed between them to make this idea of his an easy feat.

In the light of his new realization, Grissom knew that it was going to take a lot longer to build up Sara’s trust before he should even attempt to broach the subject of his ideas of their relationship. But no matter how much time it took, he was going to afford her that… It was the least he could do.

As they pulled up to the lab, Sara took in a sharp breath without lifting up the cap, and said, “I’ll log the evidence, if you want to file the report.”

“Ah, yeah, that works for me.”

Grissom put the SUV into park and went to step out of the vehicle when she added, “And I’ll grab that digital camera user’s guide for you when you take me home.”

Busted!

Chapter 5

Once again, she was sitting in the window of her favorite breakfast joint, absently sipping at her tea, and occasionally picking at the fruit and bran muffin in front of her. Hunger was the last thing on her mind, and she only ordered the muffin to make Candace go away. No, she had other things on her mind that morning, like what in the world was going on with Grissom.

The re-establishing of their once dead friendship had been a real triumph for her, but after a few months of it coming back into her life, she began to remember what it was that had drawn her to him in the first place. Well, in the second place, because let’s face it, the man is hot. However, the physical attraction could have easily been dealt with in one sweaty and unbelievably satisfying roll in the hay. No, the real thing that drew her to him was their undeniable connection. They understood things in much the same way, and in some weird, symbiotic, telepathic oddity, they also seemed to understand each other in a way no one else had ever been able to manage.

Her mother would have said they were cut from the same cloth.

My mother… She would have loved Grissom, and made her special tea for him and talked about the romantic poets with him and smiled whenever he quoted some obscure scholar. She always loved the oddballs, which seemed to have also been her strongest weakness… It’s too bad she never got to meet Grissom, she would have thought he was a fine young man. She was aged by her experiences, and in the end, she looked so much older than her years. She died just a few months before I came to Vegas. If Grissom had only known how desperate I was to leave the coast when I got his call. I needed a connection to something else, someone else to keep myself from floating too far out into the grief.

Sara shook her head a little to move herself away from such rambling thoughts. They would not serve her well, and she had a serious problem to work out; what was going on with Grissom?

The business at the art show was her first indication that things had crossed a line somewhere along the way, but she had no idea what that line was and what was even going on anymore. It was just so surprising for him to open up about something like that in such a public setting, that it really threw her for a loop. She had nearly spit her wine all over the paintings when he said it, and that would have been horrifying.

There were other things that were beginning to feel more and more unfamiliar to her as the time passed: when he started asking if she wanted to see this movie or that show, when he mentioned getting tickets to some orchestra concert, when they started meeting for dinner before work a few times a week. But the big one for her, was when he started assigning all the early rollouts to himself and taking her along every time. Each time, he would call and wake her up, saying, “I’ll just pick you up on the way.” Inevitably, it also meant he had to take her home. And half the time, he would end up hanging out in her condo for a little while, chatting or even watching a movie with her.

Sara never minded the company, because it always took her several hours to calm down from a shift before she could even think about sleeping, but there was something about the whole experience that was so unfamiliar to her she was having a hard time understanding what was really going on. She knew, from experience, that if she was really going to find out what was happening, she was just going to have to ask him, point blank. Vagaries and innuendo were just not going to hold for her any longer. She had spent a lifetime living by those ridiculous parameters and she had finally learned her lesson enough to move past that point in her life. Honesty and openness were the cornerstones of the life she was making for herself.

She sunk a little at that thought. Yeah, right, like you’re being open and honest about anything, Sidle… You keep your heart so tight in your own grasp it starts to bleed into your work now and then. Ever since she had literally fallen apart a year ago, after the near DUI, after the blow up with Catherine, after Nick… She had been forced to look more deeply into herself than she had ever wanted, but it had been a good thing, in the end. She was more confident in her abilities, she had more control over her emotions, and she had finally wrestled with some pretty nasty demons.

It bothered her that she had not been able to forgive her mother, until long after her death, but her salvation came in the fact that she had never abandoned the woman either. She always made her twice yearly visits to her mother, and she got monthly reports from the assisted living facility she had been sent to, Sara even sent little gift baskets to the woman every month or so. Sara was, as always, a good daughter. And now, in death, Sara was finally able to forgive the woman whose only real sin, was to love too deeply to see the truth until it was too late. Sara pulled out her date book and made herself a note to be sure to have some flowers placed on her mother’s grave next week. Sweet Peas, Mama always loved Sweet Peas.

“Thinking about gardening?” The sudden sound of Grissom’s voice behind her nearly made Sara fall onto the floor with fright.

Clutching a hand to her chest she breathed, “Don’t do THAT!”

Smiling, Grissom placed a well-meaning hand on the middle of her back as he took the seat beside her at the table and said, “I’m sorry, I thought you saw me walking up in the window.”

Shaking her head as she waited for her heart to stop racing she said, “Obviously not…” She looked down at her watch and noticed the time. “I thought you were in a meeting with Ecklie until ten?”

“Nah, I got Catherine to cover it for me… Told her if I had to sit in a confined space with that worm for more than five minutes I was liable to feed him to the cockroaches and call it a day.” His eyes were sparkling with his good humor and it brought a smile to Sara’s face as well.

“Well, aren’t you in a good mood today?”

“Yes, in fact I am…” That was when Candace walked up with a mug of coffee and set it down in front of Grissom. The smile on his face was making Sara quickly forget what it was she was supposed to be doing the next time she talked to Grissom.

“Can I get you a muffin to destroy as well, Dr. Grissom?” Sara hung her head at the implication and waited for his response.

Grissom looked over at the plate in front of Sara and smirked as he answered the owner, “Ah, no… But I would like a few of those molasses and oat cookies to take with me.”

Candace winked at Sara and then said, “Sounds good… I’ll bag ‘em up and have ‘em at the register when you’re ready.”

Sara was trying to recover when she asked, “So…not hungry today?”

Grissom took a tentative sip of his coffee, and once he was sure of the temperature he took a bigger drink. Sara was sure he was stalling, but she was completely baffled as to why, and then he looked at his watch before he spoke. “Not really enough time… I only have a few minutes to spare before our appointment.”

Sara’s eyebrows involuntarily scrunched together at his answer. “We have an appointment?”

There was the hint of a smirk out of the corner of Grissom’s mouth as he took another large swig from his mug. He looked at his watch again, and instead of answering her question, simply stated, “If you think that muffin has suffered enough, we should probably get going.”

Sara fought the smile that threatened to spread on her face by pursing her lips tightly and said, “You’re not gonna tell me, are you?”

Grissom swallowed the last of his coffee and stood up. “I’ll get the tab, while you finish the evisceration.”

Shaking her head as she downed the last of her tea, Sara dropped her napkin over the mutilated muffin and got up to meet him at the door. Whatever it was, she was pretty sure it was going to be interesting.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

When his colleague at the Las Vegas Natural History Museum had called him about some trouble with one of the bug exhibits, he was delighted to also learn that the Marine Life exhibit was going to have to close for a few days. Seeing a perfect opportunity, Grissom instantly seized upon the chance to bring a little piece of the coast to Sara as a gift. He had made arrangements with the marine biologist and the handlers to take Sara through a behind the scenes tour of the exhibit.

However, nothing in his mind could have compared with the reality of the experience. He saw years of pain and worry melt away from her eyes when her face lit up as she stroked that leopard shark’s dorsal fin. It was as though she had been transformed by the experience and it made Grissom’s heart swell with pride, knowing that he had been to the one to give it to her. But his spirit soared on the next stage of their little adventure.

When I had to take care of some business and look in on the tarantula that had been giving them fits, Sara seemed delighted with the whole thing. She watched intently as I examined the mandibles of the furry little beast and determined that they needed to change the terrarium because it was sampling some of the shavings along with its insect diet and that was the likely cause of its ill health. Sara even allowed me to place the delicate creature in her palm so that I might demonstrate just how light its touch was, and I delighted in her reactions to the episode. It was such an intimate and inspiring experience to have her revel in the same things that excite me; things outside of work.

He was thrilled to be learning so much about her as they continued to meet away from the lab; the movies she liked, the books she read, the art she enjoyed. It was thrilling and exciting and heaven help him, it was making it even harder for him to think of anything else. He was all for taking this slow, but if she did not take notice of everything soon, he was not going to be responsible for his actions.

The whole day was just like a dream, especially when she placed her hand on his forearm as she thanked him for the opportunity and recounted to him her feelings and emotions about the whole experience. He took more pleasure in the sparkle in her eyes as she told him how much the entire morning had meant to her, than he could have had in a thousand cockroach races, or a display with a hundred different beetles, or a perfect performance of Carmen, or even the closing of any case in his lifetime.

As they walked out of the museum together, Grissom was walking on air, and even the sun was dim next to the smile that was playing across his face. But as they neared the car, he began to sense that something was weighing Sara down. She stopped about five feet in front of the SUV and he turned to see what the problem was.

Her face was suddenly very serious and his own heart was feeling a bit heavy in anticipation of what she had to say. “What is it?”

He watched as she struggled for the words, and his worry grew with each passing moment. Finally the wait was over, “Grissom… There’s…something I need to know.”

He fiddled with his keys for something to do, took a deep breath and with a nervous smile answered, “Ask away.”

“Don’t get me wrong… I’ve really enjoyed all of this… Today, the breakfasts, the dinners, all of it.” She swallowed hard and he worried about what was going to come out of her mouth next.

He worried that she truly had moved on, and in the end he was indeed too late. He looked down at his feet and put one of his fists into his pants pocket to hide his nervousness. “And well, I don’t want to screw this…friendship thing up, or anything, but…” Without realizing it, Grissom found that he was holding his breath as he waited for the axe to fall. “But I have to know, Grissom… I mean, I’ve made mistakes by not being clear in the past, and I don’t want to keep making those mistakes, so I really need to know.” He listened as she took in a deep breath and let it out slowly before she finally said, “This is just feeling like somethi-… Like maybe it’s more than just fr-… What exactly are we doing with all of this?”

The air escaped his lungs in a rush as the relief began to flood into his mind and his heart. When he finally lifted his head to look up into her frightened gaze he knew there was nothing to be afraid of anymore. Before he realized it, a smile began to tug at the corner of his mouth, so with a sideways grin and the tilt of his head, he gave her a response that only he could give. “I could be wrong…but I do believe it is commonly referred to as dating.”

Chapter 6

Alone in her apartment, the sun fighting to enter through any nook or cranny it could find, Sara sat silently in the overstuffed chair at the window. Her feet were drawn up to her chest, she had the right elbow resting on one knee, her forehead pressed into her right hand, and her other arm wrapped around her legs. It was a pose that she been familiar with her entire life, whether it be as a source of cold comfort, an anchor against the chaos of her home, or a posture of serious contemplation, it was as much a part of Sara’s life as breathing.

On this occasion, Sara was trying to work out what was going on in her life, again. She had thought that things were finally starting to fall into place, but the events of the previous shift left her without that security any longer. In the span of a single minute, she had to question all that she had accepted as fact in the previous months.

Last week, after a particularly amazing outing, Sara had finally worked up the nerve to ask Grissom what was going on between them. They had been spending a rapidly increasing amount of time together, before and after shift and on their days off. They were working together a lot, they discussed cases when they were not working together, they saw movies, they ate dinner and breakfast on a regular basis, they went to lectures and basically it felt like a lot more than just the rekindling of their friendship.

But Grissom had fooled her before…

Last week, Sara had finally decided to face the issue head on, instead of assuming or hoping for something that was not there. She was going to ask, plainly and clearly what was going on between them. However, no matter which scenario she played in her head, she was simply not prepared for the answer she got.

“Don’t get me wrong… I’ve really enjoyed all of this… Today, the breakfasts, the dinners, all of it.” Swallowing hard, I had to struggle to get the words out of my mouth.

I could not look at him, but I can tell that he just shoved his fists down into his pockets. “And well, I don’t want to screw this…friendship thing up, or anything, but…” Every single word was a struggle and I found myself rambling around the meat of the problem. I took a deep, steeling breath, hoping to get the rest out. “But I have to know, Grissom… I mean, I’ve made mistakes by not being clear in the past, and I don’t want to keep making those mistakes, so I really need to know.” And there it was, I just had to say it and it would all be over, or at least I hoped it wasn’t really over. “This is just feeling like somethi-… Like maybe it’s more than just fr-… What exactly are we doing with all of this?”

Every nerve in my body was standing on end as I spoke the last words, and with the breath firmly held in my lungs it was not about to release before he said a word. As I stood there about to come completely unglued waiting for his answer, I could have sworn that there was the hint of a smile in the left corner of his mouth. Then he started speaking as he turned to get into the driver’s side of the car. “I could be wrong…but I do believe it is commonly referred to as dating.” I was struck completely dumb by his nonchalant answer.

By the time I finally regained my senses, I realized two very important things; one, that Grissom was about to leave me standing there if I didn’t get in the car, and two, I was dating Grissom and didn’t even know it.

As I got into his car I struggled to hide the smile that was now plastered on my face and had to confess, “Well, I feel pretty stupid now.”

Grissom laughed as he started the car and said, “Don’t worry about that… You’re still ahead of me.” I turned to see that amazing sideways smile of his when he said, “It only took you a few weeks to figure that one out… It took me nearly ten years to get this far.”

As she sat in the chair recalling that wonderful moment, she felt even more pained by the events of the night. She had no idea that Grissom could do something so amazingly cruel. How could he have given her the keys to a possible future and then ripped them away from her in the span of a week? How could he have been with her again?

Sara simply could not imagine what it was that gave Grissom the ability to crush her heart in so many ways. Every time she thought they had gotten past the pain, he found a new way to slice into her heart. She was trying to analyze the situation, and desperately tried to find a logical answer as to what would have convinced him to do such an unethical thing.

I had finally come to an impasse and needed to consult Grissom on the case, so I headed straight for his office. I turned the corner into the office and said, “Hey, Grissom, I have a question.” Seeing Sofia standing in the middle of the room stopped me cold. The only thing I could think was what was she doing at the lab when she was suspended.

“Sofia? You're on administrative leave.” I didn’t wait for her answer before looking at Grissom. I swear he looked like he had just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

“I know.” Sofia, naturally, sounded like nothing was wrong. The woman definitely had some nerve.

“You should not be in this building.” I knew I was stating the obvious, but I wanted to make sure everyone knew the score. Especially since Grissom was still trying to speak, but looked more like a fish out of water.

Sofia looked between me and Grissom, as though she was waiting for backup. “I was just talking to a friend. If I can't talk to a friend, who the hell am I supposed to talk to?”

“Any friend outside the department.” I was not about to throw her a lifeline.

“And how many friends outside of work do you have, Sara? Maybe I should go talk to my mother. Oh, no, sorry. I forgot. She's a cop, too.” She was entirely too defensive for my tastes.

“I can recommend a departmental psychologist.”

“All right, then. This was a really bad idea. I'm sorry.” Sofia turned and left the office. Once she was gone, I turned and set my gaze on Grissom who was still doing his best busted bass impersonation. I couldn’t take anymore of it and left the office.

The anger was passing as the last of the memory played out in her mind, and in its place came a profound sense of grief. And with the grief came the tears. That was where she was when the knock came to her door. She was not in the mood to talk about anything at that moment, and so she remained seated, completely unmoving.

As the door slowly opened, she finally remembered that Grissom had a key to her place after the last time she had gone out of town. He had come in while she was gone to take care of her plants and bring in the mail.

The light that preceded his cautious entrance shone directly onto her face and she had to shield her eyes from its onslaught. His body quickly blocked the sun and then the door was shut, but she was not interested in looking at the intruder into her solitude.

“Sara?” His eyes were obviously affected by the sunshine outside and he had to wait until they adjusted to the dark before he could see her in the chair. “There you are…” He took a few cautious steps forward, but was still standing in the entryway. “Why didn’t you answer when I called?”

He waited for her to answer, but she remained still and silent to the point where he began to worry about her well being. “Sara?” He took a step closer and still she was silent and he had to ask, “Are you okay?” His feet moved another step closer, and that was when he noticed the tear trail on her left cheek. “Sara, what’s wrong?”

The first indication she gave to being aware of his presence was when she huffed at his last question. He was standing just a few feet away from her by then, but there was something holding him into place. He dared not move any closer for the fear had gripped his heart. “Sara?”

She drew in a breath and closed her eyes tightly before she said, “I don’t want to do this right now.”

The fear became tangible for him with her words, but he was simply unable to let it go. He had too much invested at that point to let it go so easily. He had never fought for her in the past, but he was not about to make that mistake again. “I don’t understand… What’s wrong?”

“Don’t… I just ca-”

He moved closer, sitting down on the coffee table directly in front of her when he spoke, “Sara, I don’t know what’s happened… I don’t understand why you weren’t at the diner after shift, or why you wouldn’t answer your phone, or why you didn’t respond when I knocked and called into the condo.” His desperation was beginning to show, and without any response from her he knew it had to be something important. “I was worried…about you…but…now.” The words stuck in his throat.

“You know, if you’d changed your mind, all you had to do was tell me… I think I deserve that much.” Her words completely confused him, but he knew that she meant each one as he watched a fresh batch of tears running down her cheek.

“I don’t understand… Changed my mind about what?”

She sniffed and emitted a pain-filled laugh, “Well, then obviously we have very different ideas about what dating means.”

Shaking his head to try and clear the confusion he asked, “Different how?”

“Look Grissom, if you weren’t serious about this, you should have told me. You can’t just open the doors to me, only to slam a screen door in my face. It’s not fair.” She wiped the tears from her face with her left hand, but she still would not look at him. “If you were going to keep ‘dating’ other people, then you should have told me, so I didn’t get my hopes up that you were actually serious this time.”

Grissom’s face showed every ounce of the complete confusion that he was experiencing in that moment. He had absolutely no idea what would have given her even the faintest idea that he was seeing anyone else, when it was possibly the furthest thing from the truth. “Sara, I don-”

“Grissom, I was there, so don’t even try to tell me it’s not true.” Her tone told him that she was completely certain of her assumption, but he still was unsure as to what she was referring to at that point. “You were right there in the office with her… What did you expect me to think?”

Grissom’s face went completely white once he understood what she was saying. My God! She thinks there’s something between me and Sofia! He was completely stricken with shock at the implication that there was anything between himself and Detective Curtis other than professional courtesy. “Sara, I ne-”

“Grissom, the whole lab knew about all the time you spent two together and the big date, so don’t try to tell m-”

Grissom shook his head in utter disbelief and could not remain silent any longer, “What date? I have never had anyth-”

“Before she left C.S.I… That date?” Sara was totally serious, and that was when he realized she had been under a false impression of him for nearly a year. He had to resolve this issue, and fast.

“Sara, I have never had a date with Sofia. I asked her to dinner when she turned in her resignation to try and talk her out of it, but that’s it… It was nothing more than a professional courtesy in the hopes of preventing the loss of a good CSI when we were terribly short-handed.” Grissom knew he had to explain this to Sara, because it had obviously caused her a great deal of pain.

“But she-”

“Yes, she made numerous advances, but I never gave her any indication that they were being received. I even asked Catherine to speak with her about it.” He reached out and placed a hand over hers to make her understand what he was saying, “I’ve done a great many stupid things in my life, Sara, but that was not one of them.”

“But, in your office to-”

He shook his head and explained, “I walked into my office and she was there… I had been ignoring her messages the whole shift… And when I tried to tell her she shouldn’t be there, she just kept talking, she was practically hysterical, and then you appeared in my doorway.” He squeezed her hand to show how much his next statement meant. “I was so glad to have someone else there, but at the same time, I didn’t want you to have to get involved. But you handled it perfectly, and I was terribly relieved when she finally left.” With his other hand, he reached out to stroke her hair. “Sara, you have to believe me, that when I told you I was pursuing this relationship, that I was-…am, very serious about it.”

“How am I supposed to know that?”

“I don’t understand… What do you me-”

“How am supposed to know that, when the only time you’ve ever taken my hand is when I’m falling apart?” Grissom was struck dumb by the fact that his theory of taking things slow was also the catalyst for her to find reason to doubt him. “I mean, according to you, we’ve been dating for weeks, and yet you haven’t even tried to…to kiss me.”

Grissom found himself struggling for an answer to that problem. He had no real idea why he had never tried to cross that line. The only thing that came to his mind was, “I guess, I was…waiting-”

Sara shook her head with her frustration and asked, “My God, for what?!”

He could only shrug when he answered, “For your permission, I guess?” He used the hand not wrapped around hers to reach over and wipe her tears away.

“You’d be the first.” Her oddly casual remark made his back stiffen.

Her eyes were cast down, and he tucked his fingers under her chin to lift her gaze when he asked, “I don’t understand… How would I be the first, at what?”

“No one’s ever asked for anything from me… They just took what they wanted.” The matter of fact tone in her voice actually made his heart constrict.

His jaw tightened with his response, “Remind me… I need to have a little chat with that paramedic.”

“What?” Sara searched his eyes for why Grissom would be talking about Hank and then she realized what he had meant. “No, Grissom… With him, it was more like convenient lust…nothing more.”

He now knew, without a doubt, that he was going to do everything in his power to never knowingly cause her pain again. She had enough of that to last her several lifetimes. But that thought brought another to his mind. “Sara?” He waited for her to look into his eyes before continuing, “I’m not very good at this relationship stuff. At least, I’ve never been willing to work at it before. Can you promise me something?”

She nodded, as though his words held her rapt attention.

“If I screw up, will you please promise to talk to me first? I’ll never try to hurt you, but I can be a little dense sometimes, as is evidenced by today… So, I’m going to need your help in spotting the trouble areas, because I never want to take anything for granted when it comes to you. Okay?” He thought he noticed the beginnings of a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth, but then he saw the tears begin again and he was again stricken with the depth of his connection to her. “Oh honey, what is it?”

She sniffed and asked, “You think you can do the same thing for me?”

He smiled, squeezed her hand again and nodded. “You bet. But I imagine it’ll be a bigger job for you.”

He watched as she turned and placed her feet squarely on the floor. Then she stood up and reached her hands out to Grissom to help him to his feet. Looking behind him to be sure the table was okay, he then looked at the door and said, “Well, I guess I should get go-”

She dropped his left hand and brought her right up to his lips to silence him. Her next words had him more confused than he had been all day. “You’re the only one I would ever…have ever wanted to give it to.”

His brows were scrunched together as he tried to decipher the meaning of her words. When she dropped his right hand and moved both of hers to his chest that meaning suddenly became crystal clear. He moved his own hands slowly up along her back, with one lingering there as the other continued to rest at the nape of her neck. Leaning his head forward until it was resting against her forehead, he found that their proximity was as intoxicating as it always had been, but now their breaths mingled as well. He looked deeply into her gentle and accepting eyes, and there he found further proof of her permission, as well as her smoldering desire.

When their lips finally met in that first kiss, it was neither passionate, nor intense. It was sweet and tender and loving and healing. That first kiss was a tangible and heartfelt expression of the feelings and emotions being shared between two people who have both suffered and sacrificed to be where they were standing at that moment.

As they finally parted, they both felt as though they would never be parted again.

Chapter 8

They were both driving out to San Diego for a conference in which both were presenting lectures. It had been four hours of complete silence in a five hour drive. After the first hour of silence, Sara had drifted off to sleep, deciding that she might as well enjoy the quiet, and that when Grissom was ready to talk, he would.

When she woke up, they had stopped in Barstow at a gas station. She thought to herself that if they had taken her car, the way she had suggested, they would not have had to stop for gas until they were on their way back to Vegas, but seeing as how Grissom appeared to be in one of his moods, she decided to keep that little nugget to herself for now. Sara stepped out of the car and stretched her muscles after her nap. She chuckled a little to herself when she realized that it was probably the best sleep she had gotten all week. Hour and half while Grissom sulks, and I sleep like the dead.

Grissom chose that moment to walk back to the car. “What’s so funny?” His tone told her all she needed to know; he was still in a bad mood.

“Oh nothing… I just really enjoy a good stretch.” She worked to stifle the smile that was threatening to spread over her face. Sara decided it would be best to change the subject quickly. “Hey, you want me to drive the rest of the way? Give you a chance to catch a nap, too…”

“I’ll sleep when we get there.” He cut her off with his curt statement and went straight for the driver’s door.

“Suit yourself… I was just trying to-” There was the distinct sound of a car door slamming before she had even finished talking. “…help.” Sara chewed back the curse she was going to say after having experienced the obvious slight from Grissom and got into the SUV.

Instead of trying to make conversation, she simply buckled up, crossed her arms over her chest and tucked her chin down as she closed her eyes. If he was going to be in that bad of a mood, she wanted nothing to do with him either, so she was at least going get another nap in before they got to the conference. At that point, she figured he needed to stew in his own juices for a while longer, because she was quickly getting into a bad mood of her own after his brush off.

The next thing she knew she was being woken up by the knock on her window by the hotel valet. “Excuse me, Ma’am?”

Sara sat bolt straight up in her seat and had to quickly regain her orientation to understand that they must have arrived at the hotel in San Diego and Grissom had not woken her when they got there. Slowly, she got out of the SUV as the young valet held the door open for her. “Ma’am, you’re boss gave me this to hand you… The bellhops already got your luggage.” Sara looked down to find the pass key to her room. She flashed a half-hearted smile at the young man and pulled a five out of her pocket to slip in his hand as she stomped off into the hotel.

Sara had experienced enough of Grissom’s foul mood for one day, so she stayed in her room for the rest of the night, foregoing the conference mixer that evening in favor of some room service. She re-worked the notes for her presentation and used the internet to double check a couple of her facts, which led to finding another article that related to the same material analysis technique that she was promoting, which led to a case file that caught her attention, which led to the recent publication of the physicist that had been involved in that case file… And before she realized it, it was three in the morning and she had to give her first lecture at nine. Sara decided it was time to get a little sleep so that she could at least not look like the insomniac, workaholic science nerd that she truly was when she gave her presentation.

She got up and started to undress for her shower, and when she passed the mirror, she had to laugh. “Well, at least, I can try to look awake.” Sara shook her head at the reflection in the mirror, showing her hair going in two entirely different directions, a pen tucked into one ear, a smudge of something on her chin, her clothes completely rumpled and that well-worn expression that always came after two days of working with only the occasional nap, here and there. Right then, at that moment, she looked exactly like an insomniac, workaholic, professional science nerd who needed an iron and a washcloth.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

With both of her presentations out of the way, Grissom still hiding and nothing but the night alone ahead of her, Sara decided to skip the keynote speech and dinner in favor of a quick falafel sandwich at the vendor by the marina, a good run down to Mission Beach and a leisurely walk in the sand. The one thing that she had missed since moving to Las Vegas was not being able to hear the water in everything.

San Francisco was on a bay, and the water was a part of every inch of the city. Hearing the waves wash up along the shore, she was reminded more of her childhood, and the impact the tides had on her everyday life. She had always been able to tell the time of day and time of month by the tides. She had also gauged when the tides at home were getting ready to turn by the crashing of the waves. When they were at their longest ebb, things always seemed to be at their worst at home. She would spend more time at the beach during the ebbs. Her brother had been the one to show her how to dig for the razor and littleneck clams that were prevalent on the beaches near their home. It was during those low tides that she carried her little bucket and stick with her everywhere she went.

As she walked along the beach at dusk, occasionally kicking her bare toes into the sand, she smiled. It was nice to be able to recall the good things again, and not just bury it all because of her fear of the bad stuff. She was able to remember the bonfire at the beach when she spied her brother kissing Molly Parker for the first time, or the sand castle she built with her father and brother when she was only four, or steaming the clams she had found with her mother. But mostly it was just comfortable being able to connect with her past without fear. It truly was her past now, and it no longer haunted her every sleeping and waking dream.

She was proud of her accomplishments over the last few years, of all the things she had done, and been through, and put to rest. It had taken some pretty awful experiences to get her to finally deal with all of those things, but it had been worth it in the end. She realized that there were only a few loose ends left in her life, and she hoped to one day put even those to rest as well, but for now, they were still goals. She chuffed to herself at that notion. She had once considered them obstacles, things to overcome, but now she saw them as goals; things to attain on her journey.

As she neared the pier at the other end of the beach, she watched as a car parked on the pier and then a high-beamed spotlight was shown across the beach. When it stopped on her she realized that there must have been a curfew on the beach, and it was well past dusk by that time, since that beam was the only light around, outside of the waning moon.

When she reached the walkway to climb up from the beach she was met by an officer carrying a maglite. “Excuse me, Miss… Were you out there alone?”

Sara smiled at the man’s tone, which let her know she was definitely in California. “Ah, yeah… Sorry Officer, I didn’t realize there was a curfew for the beach.”

The man stepped aside to let her pass, but she stayed still to speak with the man. “Oh, well there isn’t really, but we’ve had some trouble out there lately, so the homeowners are pretty vigilant right now… Are you in town visiting someone?”

“Just here for a conference at the Sheraton up in the marin-”

“Isn’t that where they’re having that big forensic science conference?” The officer obviously knew about the conference, and if Sara had been planning on keeping it low key, she had just killed that idea.

“Yeah, it is.” She tried to make light of it, but the man had other plans. “I was just trying to get a little beach time in before heading back to the desert.”

“Wow, you know that’s like seven miles from this end of Mission Beach, right?” He looked around for a car or something, and then asked, ‘How’d you get here?”

Sara looked down at her shorts and sweatshirt, showed him the sneakers in her hand and shrugged, “Ran?” She realized as she said it, just how ridiculous that had to sound to a beat cop: scrawny, little woman running seven miles in the dark. “I guess I let the time get away from me once I got to the beach.”

He laughed at her admission and gestured for her to continue along the path. “C’mon, Cecilia and I’ll drop you back at your hotel.” When she was about to balk at his suggestion he added, “Call it a professional courtesy. We were just about to head back to the station anyway.”

The two officers had driven her back to the hotel, asking plenty of questions about her work and the conference. Fortunately she had the foresight to wear that stupid fanny pack that Greg had gotten her on his last trip to a conference, so she had her wallet with her. She reached in and gave each of them one of her cards and told them if they ever wanted to take a late night run in the desert to give her a call and she would return the favor.

Sara stopped at the front desk to see if she had any messages before heading back to her room to get cleaned up. Sure enough, there were two messages; one from Greg reminding her that she owed him a conference present, and the other from Grissom reminding her that they were leaving right after his eleven o’clock presentation, so she was to be waiting in the lobby for him at half past twelve. Obviously the cold front was still in place.

When she got to her room, she quickly undressed, careful to leave the shells and beach glass she had found in a safe place, and jumped into the shower. As she was combing out her hair, she called down to room service to have a plate of fruit, cheese and crackers sent up to her. She decided that it would be something to nibble on while she organized her notes from the presentations and then packed her bag for their long, and apparently still silent drive back to Vegas.

She had no idea what it was that was making Grissom sulk at the moment, but she knew that it would do her no good to bring it up either. If the last six years had taught her anything, it was that Grissom only did things when he was good and damn ready, and not a moment before.

When she heard the knock on the door, she hopped up and grabbed her wallet for the room service guy’s tip. As she opened the door, she was completely surprised by the face of Officer McNally. “Whoa… What are you doing here?” Sara suddenly became very self-conscious of the fact that she was wearing nothing but a robe.

The officer held up a bunch of photos in one of those flips of plastic sleeves commonly found in the average wallet. “I think you dropped these in the back of the cruiser.”

Reaching out her hand, she took the pictures from him and instantly recognized them. “Oh wow… Thanks for doing that.”

“No problem… Just wanted to make sure they were yours. We did have someone else in there today, but I don’t think he smelled like someone who’d have had those with him.” The officer was pleasant enough, but Sara was starting to feel like he had used her mistake to his advantage.

“I was wondering what that smell was… I had hoped it wasn’t me, seeing as I had just run five miles.” She never wanted to be rude, but she had things to do before she and Grissom left the next day, and this guy seemed to be taking root at her door. “Well, thanks again… I appreciate it. It was very nice meeting you and Cecilia, and I’ll have to give you guys a call the next time I make it into town.”

The man seemed to have finally taken the hint and said his goodbyes with Sara shutting the door behind him. When McNally reached the elevator he muttered to himself, paying no attention to the man beside him as he looked back at Sara’s closed door. “Gonna have to find a reason to hit Vegas again real soon… And that.”

The elevator dinged, he stepped onboard and then held his arm out in front of the door to allow the other man a chance to get on. “You gettin’ on, buddy?”

The man continued to look at the ground and practically whispered, “No, I was waiting for someone.” As the doors closed, Grissom walked to the stairwell to go back to his room.

Chapter 9

Sara woke from her longest sleep of the weekend; a whole five hours in a row. Earlier in the night, she noticed there was a late checkout time, so she decided it might not be a bad idea if she got a few hours of sleep, just in case Grissom was unable to handle the drive back to Vegas. Of course, it was also a good plan, since they probably had to report for a shift that night, as well.

She woke up just before eleven that morning, got dressed, packed up her toiletries and made her way down to the front desk for check out. The one thing about her personal habits that suited her was that she always showered before she went to bed, and it meant she could just jump up at a moments notice and be on the road in no time at all.

As she reached the clerk at the front desk, Sara handed the woman her key and gave her the room number. “Ms. Sidle?”

“Yes.”

The woman handed Sara the receipt and she reviewed it quickly to make sure there were no additional charges, signed it and handed it back to the clerk with her credit card. “And you got my request to have the charges separated on the final receipt?”

“Yes, Ma’am… The hotel charges on one receipt and the room service bill on another, just as you requested.” Sara nodded her appreciation as the woman gave her the two final receipts and then she ran the charge card. When she turned back to hand Sara her card and the charge slip, she also had an envelope for her. “This was left for you, Ms. Sidle.”

Sara took the heavy envelope from the clerk and thanked her as she tucked the receipt into her briefcase and the credit card back into her wallet. When she looked more closely at the envelope, she found that Grissom’s handwriting was on it. Running the envelope through her fingers, she thought there was set of keys in it. Confused as to why Grissom would leave her something and not wanting to waste anymore time, Sara ripped into the envelope to find out what was inside.

S-

Cancelled last lecture, took the early flight back to Vegas.

-G

If anyone had been paying attention to Sara at that moment, they would have been able to actually watch her blood begin to boil as she read the note and found the keys to the SUV inside. Crumpling the envelope and the note in her fist, Sara’s anger took over when she stomped through the hotel entrance. “Son of a Bitch!”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Three hours and fourty minutes, three hundred thirty two miles, one stop for gas, one stop for the California Highway Patrol, and a string of expletives starting in San Diego and continuing all the way through to Las Vegas was the best way to describe Sara’s solo drive back from the conference. Over the years, she had put up with a considerable amount of abuse at the hands of Dr. Gil Grissom, but this stunt had far exceeded her tolerance for anything. This time he crossed the line.

Sara had no idea what it was that had gotten under his skin, and though she had been willing to let him work it out on his own, all bets were off after he had literally abandoned her in California. She was pissed and he was going to know about it, whether he liked it or not. The silent treatment was one thing, being avoided all weekend could even be overlooked, but leaving her there to drive his Denali back to Vegas without so much as a phone call or a kind word was beyond rude, it was downright cruel, and Sara had taken about all she could stand from whatever temper tantrum he happened to be throwing that time.

However, the closer she got to his place, the more she thought about what would have made him cancel his last lecture and bring him back to Vegas so quickly. As she ran the ideas through her head, she realized that with Grissom being as single minded as he could be sometimes, he might have gotten called back on a hot bug case, and never even considered what a bastard he was being. She tried to back down from her anger, even though it still hurt to have been cast away so easily, but she knew how much his work meant to him, and she knew that he cared, even if he had been in a foul mood all weekend.

By the time she pulled up beside her car out in front of his townhouse, she had managed to get most of her anger under control, though her frustration was still at an all time high. She pulled her bags out of the Denali, retrieved her own keys from her briefcase and dropped the bags into her car. Then she flipped through the key ring to find the key to Grissom’s townhouse so that she could drop his keys onto the sideboard near his front door. He had given her the key the last time he had gone out of town, because he was unsure of how long the case would take, and his critters needed tending. She felt no concern about using the key to open his door this time, and besides, he never asked for it back.

When she turned the handle and found the resistance of the bar and chain, Sara’s anger had instantly returned in full force. If the bar and the chain were hooked up, it meant Grissom was inside, and that meant… “BASTARD!” Her booted foot immediately made contact with the door.

She paced back and forth in front of the door a few times as her rage began to boil and churn. Then she slammed her fist into the door and screamed, “Grissom! If you don’t open this door, so help me God I’ll to shoot it off the fucking hinges!”

As the moments and the seconds clicked by, Sara’s anger grew. She paced in front of the door, hitting or kicking it each time she passed. Sara had no idea how long she had paced in front of that door, because her rage felt like it had been burning for days. When she heard the sounds of the bar being lifted and the chain retracted from the other side of the door, she turned with her full fury embedded into her expression. She waited for the door to open, but instead she heard the sound of feet padding away from the door.

The fact that the man could not even be bothered to open the door and speak to her was the last straw for Sara. She pushed her way inside and found him walking towards his couch as she barreled into the room. Without a moment’s hesitation, she took the keys still in her hand and hucked them at his back, waiting for him to acknowledge her presence.

He cringed at the intrusion on his back, bent down and retrieved the keys; never saying a single word or even turning to look at her. But Sara was not about to let him get away that easy. “Is that it?”

“Thank you for the keys, but you could have left them at the office.” His tone was completely flat and lifeless.

“Are you drunk?!”

“No.”

“High, then?!” She was grasping at the air at that point, as she desperately tried to understand his bizarre and infuriating behavior.

“Of course not.”

“Hit over the head, abducted by aliens, a clone, a robot, what?! Something has to explain why you have completely lost your mind.” She had thrown her arms up as she finished.

He was still staring at the opposite wall, away from Sara the whole time. “If you’re done…”

“No! I’m not done. In fact, I’m just getting started. What the hell are you doing?!” Grissom had continued to keep his face turned away from her and she was done with being avoided. “Dammit!” She grabbed his shoulder and spun him around to face her. “The least you can do is look at me, when you-” Sara was taken aback by the hollow and empty expression on his face, but her anger spurred her on. “You’ve done some pretty horrible things to me over the years, Grissom, but this…this was…just…cruel.”

His voice broke a little when he answered, “I could say the same to you.”

“What?!” Sara was dumbfounded by his answer. “What are you talking about?”

Grissom closed his bloodshot eyes as he said, “I don’t want to hold you back… I never wanted that. If you wan-”

“I want to know what the hell has gotten into you. First you give me the silent treatment, which was fine… I know you need your space sometimes, I don’t have a problem with that, and then you completely avoid me at the conference.” Sara was shaking her head as she spoke, trying to work the whole thing out. “But abandoning me in San Diego without so much as a damn phone call? That’s too much, Grissom… And I’m not leaving here until you tell me what in the world would make you do something like that?”

He opened his eyes and swallowed hard. “You’re the one who said we shouldn’t be together.”

Sara stood there in a state of total shock, with her mouth hanging slightly open. She had no idea why he would say something like that, let alone how he thought she had ever said such a thing. “What? I never sa-”

“Thermite,” was all he said, leaving her to try and understand the meaning behind the obscure comment. She vaguely remembered a conversation from a few days ago when Grissom had mentioned thermite, but she was having trouble remembering the details.

Grissom shook his head in defeat and practically whispered, “You don’t even remember… I guess that just proves my point.”

The shock was fading and quickly being replaced with her anger once more. “What point?! I have no idea what you’re talking about!”

“Maybe your friend from the conference can explain it to you when he comes out for his visit.” The words from his mouth were said with an unmistakable disdain.

“Okay! That’s it… You need to tell me, in black and white, what the fuck you’re talking about, because I am not moving from this spot until you do.” Sara was beyond angry at that point, and she was confused on top of it. The only thing she understood was that she was apparently being accused of something, and she needed to know what it was before anything else was said between them.

“Sara, I saw the man at your door, so there’s no po-”

“At my door?” Sara searched her brain for the answer to that one and then it dawned on her, “You mean, McNally?”

“I don’t care what his name is, it was obvious that you t-”

“Aaaaaahhhhhh! My god, is that what set you off?!” She watched as his jaw clenched several times and she had her answer. “Unbelievable! That guy was bringing me something I dropped in the back of his cruiser when he and his partner gave me a lift back from the beach.”

Grissom’s face became a testament to his confusion. “Partne-…cruiser… He was a cop?”

“Yeah,” Sara shook her head as she recounted the evening out on the beach. “I decided to go for a run and ended up down at Mission Beach. I guess I lost track of time an-”

“Mission Beach was five miles from the hotel… What time did you leave?” Grissom was lost in his own thoughts again, and Sara knew the only thing she could do was to follow along to be able to speak with him any longer.

“Ah, I guess it was around four thirty, five o’clock… I wasn’t interested in a room full of boiled chicken, so I skipped the keynote dinner and grabbed a sandwich at a little vendor by the marina before I took my-” Grissom was quickly becoming impatient with her story

“This time of year it gets dark around six, what were you thin-”

“I was thinking that boiled chicken and the cold shoulder was the last thing I wanted while I was in California.” Her words cut into him as she continued to explain. “So, I chose running down through the marina and onto the beach since it was better than anything at the conference, at that point.” Sara stood firm with her arms crossed over her chest.

“When you didn’t come to the dinner… I went looking for you.” He paused, swallowing what looked to be a bitter pill and then continued, “And you were at your door, in your robe, tal-”

“Talking to a slimy guy, who was obviously trying to make a pass.” Sara shook her head in disgust as she continued to explain, “Too bad I shut him down in favor of getting all my stuff together, so I wouldn’t be late checking out in the morning, in order to keep from giving you another reason to not talk to me on the drive back.”

All the rigidity in his posture disappeared and he lowered his gaze to the floor in the hopes of hiding his shame. “I thought… I was wrong…I…” He huffed and the last of his pride went out with the breath. “I thought that I was too late, that you were-…weren’t interested in being with…me.” The last words were barely heard, and Sara found herself taking a few steps toward him.

“What made you think that?”

“The thermite.”

“What about thermite?! I have no idea what that means!” Sara was beyond frustrated by that point.

“Before we left, I was explaining about the properties of thermite and you said we shouldn’t be together.” Grissom blurted the whole thing out in a rush.

Sara stood there trying to process what he had said, as well as trying to remember the exact conversation. “You mean the case with that spoiled party girl?” He nodded his head and she laughed. His face looked pained as she continued to laugh. “My god, Grissom… It was just a comment about the girl.”

“But you…the way you-”

“Don’t you think if you and I had gotten to that point, I would have said something…in private?” Sara took another step closer as she asked her question.

“Well, I-…” Grissom slumped even further as he realized what a horrible mistake he had made and what that mistake could cost him: a mistake that could cost him everything. He looked up quickly to say, “Sara, I-” He was cutoff from saying anything else when Sara put her finger over his lips.

“Since you obviously have a hard time listening to me… I want to make sure you understand every word I am about to say. Got it?” He nodded shyly. “Good… There’s something you need to know.” Sara took a deep breath, and Grissom followed each movement intently, afraid to look away for even a moment. “It…can…never…be…too late.”

“But…” Grissom could not understand how she could say such a thing. “How?”

The corner of her mouth turned up, and when he thought she was going to say something, she caught him totally off-guard with her next move. As her lips pressed into his he was no longer in his own body because of the shock and the overpowering sensation of joy that filled his soul in that moment.

As her mouth left his, she pressed her forehead into his and sighed, “Easy… Because I love you, bonehead.”

“But why?” Grissom could not believe the words escaped his mouth, but they had and he could only wait to hear her answer.

Sara laughed at the tension that had filled him as he spoke those frightened words. She shook her head and then said, “I’m not sure… It’s either that I’m completely insane or-”

“Because I love you?”

She smirked at the tone in his voice and asked, “Was that a question?”

Her question gave him a needed boost of confidence, and he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her to him as he answered, “Not for me. Not for a very long time.” That time it was his lips that met hers in a gentle and tender promise of the depth of his feelings for her.

When his lips finally left hers, Grissom pulled Sara even closer into his arms and held her tightly as he said, “I’m an idiot, and I can never make it up to you, and I certainly don’t deserve you, but…” He squeezed her even tighter and kissed into her hair. “Please don’t ever leave me.”

Sara tried to speak, but he stopped her. “When I was sitting in that dinner, alone at the table, no one thought it was strange for me to be alone. Not one of my colleagues asked if anyone was with me, and I felt like a complete failure. After the speaker finished, I didn’t waste a moment, I went to your room to ask you for another chance, because I didn’t want to be that person anymore, Sara.”

She exhaled into his chest and interrupted him, “And you saw me in a robe with that punk cop and thought-”

“That it was over. And I shouldn’t have taken off like that, but-… I couldn’t face you… I couldn’t see you, knowing that I could never-…” He choked on his own words and had to take another breath before he could continue, “That I would never be that guy at your door, that I’d screwed it up, that I waited too long, and did too little, and-”

Sara exhaled again, and then she pulled away so that she could look into his eyes. “Look, I know this isn’t going to be easy…for either of us. We’re both way too used to being on our own, but we’ve got to find a way to meet in the middle on this stuff, because I can’t handle rollercoasters the way you do.” He cast his gaze down and she tilted her head to catch his eyes again. Grissom followed her back up and she asked, “I need you to promise me something, okay?”

The emotion was so strong in his voice that it could be felt. “Anything.”

She smiled, trying to give him some reassurance. “When stuff like this comes up, I need you to talk to me. I don’t care if you have to scream and holler at me to get it out, you can’t cut me out of the process anymore… Not if we’re gonna give this a real chance.” She took her hands from his back and moved them to hold his face, forcing him to look her in the eyes. “You understand, this is what I need to make this work, right?” He nodded and she kissed him to seal the deal. “Thank you.”

Grissom once again brought her close to him in his arms and buried his face in the crook of her neck, apologizing and professing his love over and over. Sara in turn, ran her hands up and down his back, whispering her confessions of love to soothe his fears.

Soon, the words began to fade away and were replaced with kisses and nuzzling in her neck. Before long, Sara felt as though she was being swept up in the emotions that poured off of Grissom and the sensations he created in her body. Each touch of his lips to the skin of her neck was electric and it made it difficult for her to think. When his lips made contact with the space behind her ear, she found that the pace of her breathing had quickened.

With one hand, he turned her head to the other side, and then brushed her hair away from his intended target with the other. His warm breath and tender lips played over the fresh skin on that side of her neck, and Sara was fighting to try and figure out what it was she was supposed be thinking about. Her voice was her only tool in trying to break the spell, “Ah, Gris?”

“Hmmm?” His voice rumbled over her skin and the vibration of it made it even harder for Sara to clear her head.

“Um…” His mouth was on her ear and she felt his hand roaming over her back, holding her to him. Each touch brought her farther and farther from rational thought, and that was when it dawned on her; she left her car unlocked, and her bag was in it. She really needed her bag.

Sara decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and pack for the conference a little early, just in case they got caught up in a big case that week. So, she took a quick trip down to the drugstore to get a set of those travel containers for her toiletries. As she walked the aisles looking for the items she would need for the trip she passed by a display that caught her attention. There at the end of the pharmacy was a racked filled with several very colorful boxes. She found herself with a lopsided grin as she read the different labels and analyzed which one would be the better product.

As she took one of the boxes off of the rack and placed it into her basket she smiled. She was preparing to spend a weekend in San Diego for a conference, and to be alone with Grissom for the entire trip. Things had been progressing between them, albeit very slowly, but if anything were to happen while they were away, she wanted to be ready for it. “Just in case.”

“Ah, Gris…” She was trying to get his attention, but his continued kisses were making it hard for her to remain focused. “I ah, need-… Mmmmm…” Her breathing kicked up another notch and she fought to give words to her thoughts. “I um… I need my… Mmmm…my bag.”

Grissom let up for a moment and asked, “What?”

It was just the break she needed in order to regain her faculties, “My car, it’s not locked, and my bags are in there.”

He brought his face back to the crook of her neck and said, “Just push the button.” Her hands moved up into his hair and she threaded her fingers through the curls as his lips began to work at her neck again.

“Mmmmmm…but I…” His mouth was doing more to control her thoughts than anything ever had before, and she knew where it was leading. That knowledge propelled her to break through the sensations. “Gris, I really need…my bag.” He stopped and took a deep breath before looking up.

“You’re serious?” She gave him a shy smile and he asked, “Right now?” She bit her bottom lip and nodded. Grissom held out his hand and said, “Keys?” He reluctantly took the keys from her and went to retrieve her bag.

As soon as he was out of sight, she looked around the room and saw Grissom’s open garment bag. She grabbed something from it and took off for the bathroom.

Once Grissom was outside, he had to work to get a hold of himself. It was also when he started to think that maybe he had gone too far. Sara had obviously put the brakes on. So much so that she had to send him outside to put some tangible distance between them.

He pulled her bag and the briefcase out of the front seat of her car, closed the door and locked it. Grissom took in a deep breath and prepared for the worst when he looked into Sara’s eyes again. He never wanted to push too hard, and he needed to be ready when she told him it really was too fast.

When he walked back into the house, Grissom was ready for whatever Sara had in store for him.

Once he reached the living room, he realized she was no longer in the room. He looked around and then called out her name. “Sara?”

He heard her voice call back to him through the bathroom door, “Be out in a sec… Did you get my bag?”

Self-consciously, he held them both up into the air, even though she could not see him, and he answered, “Yeah, got ‘em right here.”

He suddenly felt very foolish to be standing in the middle of his own living room waiting for someone else to decide his fate. “Sara, you know, if this is moving too fast, you just have to tell me. I understand, and I don’t want you to feel pressured into anything.” As he paced around the room and continued to talk to someone in another room, through a door, he resigned himself to being foolish. “I just want to make sure you’re ready, and I don’t want you to-”

The sound of her voice behind him stopped him in his tracks, “You got the bag?”

When he turned to find the source of that smoky and sultry voice, he was cemented in place by the sight his eyes beheld. His gaze started at the floor, where he found her bare feet. Slowly dragging his eyes up, he found a small tattoo on her right ankle, which bore a strong resemblance to a sunburst. As his eyes slowly made their way up her interminably long and luscious legs they finally came to the hem of a white shirt; his white dress shirt. Grissom’s breath caught in his throat as he realized that Sara stood at the end of the hallway, leaning against the wall with her hand resting on her opposite hip and her left arm hanging down at her side, wearing nothing, save for his dress shirt.

She started fussing with the sleeves of the shirt and asked, “What’s wrong with these sleeves? There’s no buttons.”

Grissom swallowed and somehow managed to say, “They’re French cuffs, they…don’t have buttons.”

With her head still cast down at the sleeves, she looked up at him with her incredibly seductive eyes when she asked, “Then how do you keep the sleeves down?”

Clearing his throat to speak, Grissom found that he had taken a few absent minded steps toward her. “Cuff links.”

“Oh, then should I roll them up or-” She was stopped from doing or saying anything else, because Grissom had reached her and had begun to run his fingers up along her arms, turning her back to the wall, and sending those deliciously warm feelings rushing through her blood once more. When the fingers of his right hand trailed all the way up her arm, they continued over her shoulder and then ran up the side of her neck, making her close her eyes in the throes of that amazing sensation.

“About that taking it slow thing…” She was practically purring the words when his lips replaced his fingers at her neck. “Ten years is long enough.”

His answer was lost in the crook of her neck, and his hot breath played over her skin sending her deeper into the moment of bliss. When his lips dropped into the dip above her collarbone she gasped with the intensity of his touch. She needed to steady herself before she started sliding down the wall and so she began to run her hands over his arms and back, moving in time with the caress of his lips to her skin.

Soon she reached the point where she needed to feel his skin against her palms and she started tugging at his shirt with little success. Not being one to give up easy, Sara changed her plan of attack and slid her hands down around to his sides, then over his soft belly, delighted in the fact that she had her hands all over his body and there was nothing stopping her. When she reached the button of his jeans, she had to pause a moment as Grissom took the lobe of her ear into his mouth and gently sucked on the tender bit of flesh, making her momentarily gasp for air as she waited for her mind to reconnect with her sanity.

Once some semblance of reason returned to her highly aroused mind, she worked the first button of his jeans open. She realized that he must have been taken away with his own activities because he failed to notice what she was doing. Sara took full advantage of his distraction as she ran her hands down from his hips to his thighs, feeling the strength of his legs before moving painfully slow back up to the next button of his jeans. That was when she knew she had been discovered from the groan that erupted from his throat as he pressed his weight into her, having effectively pinned her to wall.

With her advantage removed, Sara returned to her original plan and began to once again tug at his shirt. That time it released from his pants in the back and she was finally able to slide her hands up under the shirt. When her slender fingers made their first contact with the skin on his back, Sara was shocked at the heat pouring off of him. Grissom’s skin was already beginning to become slick with the perspiration fighting to control his body temperature.

She was desperate to expose his flesh to the air, and to have full access to its warm and delicious expanse. She struggled to work the back of his shirt up his body. When she had managed to push it to his shoulders, she reached up in an effort to pull it over his head, but that was when Grissom suddenly took the upper hand again.

He pulled both of her arms from his body and held them over her head as his mouth pressed into hers for an amazingly passionate kiss. As their tongues began a seductive dance, he wrapped both her wrists within his left hand and pinned them to the wall above her head. Then he reluctantly pulled away from her mouth and watched her face flush with arousal as he slowly drug the backs of his fingers down the length of her left arm, and then tickled them along her side, pausing at each rib and curve as though he tried to memorize her every reaction and every contour of her body.

With her eyes closed against the potency of his gaze, she was shocked when his hand left her body for a moment, only to have his lips crash back into hers with a fierce wantonness that she never expected from Grissom. When his grip on her wrists was released, she dropped her arms to his shoulders to steady herself and found that she had made contact with his bare, searing skin. She could only assume that he had removed the shirt in that brief moment of contact loss, but she had no time to think of anything else, because her body immediately took over for her mind.

Her hands practically danced over the flesh of his back, searched for every dip and curve and relished in the intense warmth of his skin against her touch. Soon, it was no longer enough, not with his mouth working hers and his hands gripping her neck and pulling her hip to grind against him as they both writhed in a sensual and perfect rhythm. When he finally pulled back from her mouth, gasping for air, she already had her hands dragging along his sides and she quickly moved them up to his chest.

She splayed her hands over as much of his flesh as her long and nimble fingers could manage, and with his head momentarily thrown back as he sucked the desperately needed air into his lungs, Sara took the opportunity to start her own assault. She began to kiss along his neck, across the whole length of his beard, working her way up to that spot behind his ear where she began to run her tongue. As he leaned into the touch of her tongue to his flesh she caught him off-balance and managed to push him back into the opposite wall of the corridor. He groaned at the impact, but that was quickly replaced by moans of pleasure as her adept fingers made contact with the most sensitive flesh on his chest, all the while her tongue flitted along the shell of his ear.

Grissom was no longer in charge of his own mind. With every sensuous lathe of her tongue on his ear or his neck, he lost more and more of his grip on conscious thought. When she started moving down his neck, his eyes were closed as he struggled to deal with the intensity of the moment, but the instant her mouth made contact with his nipple he lost that control entirely, as he arched his back and wrapped his hands up in her hair to hold her still. Too late, he realized that she took that as a sign to continue and she gently sucked his nipple into her mouth, teasing at the taut nub with her tongue and her teeth. That was simply too much for him to handle and he pulled her face up to his where he could crash into her lips with a ferociously passionate kiss.

Halfway into the kiss he felt her weight begin to fall away and he wrapped her up into his arms, pulling her body against his as he continued to assail her lips. Her arms wound their way around his neck and held onto him with a rapturous grip.

With their tongues writhing and battling for dominance, Sara was shocked each time he tried to deepen the kiss. She felt as though he was actually pulling the breath directly from her lungs, and forcing his own breath down into her chest. The power of his assault was not lost on her, as she struggled to stay upright and keep him pinned to the wall. That struggle ended when the hand stroking her neck dropped down along her spine in a languid line to rest in the small of her back. She was not sure if it was the feeling of his powerful hand sitting just above her ass or the total lack of oxygen, but she felt her knees give way just in time for him to catch her in his arms and pull her firmly into his body.

Apparently that move was too much for him as well, as her hip ground right into his crotch and he finally released his tight hold on her mouth with a guttural moan. “Nnnnnahhhh.” With sudden access to air they both gasped for every breath of it. As their chests heaved in a ragged rhythm, and the oxygen finally found its way back to her brain, that was when something finally dawned on Sara; the bag.

“Um…Gris?” She buried her forehead into his shoulder, as she tried to muster the power of speech.

It became obvious that he had found the power for something else, when she felt his lips begin to trail down her neck once more. And that power was quickly making it difficult for her to concentrate on the task at hand. Well, the necessities for the task at hand, anyway. When his kisses began to dip below her collarbone she knew she had to take control of the situation.

“Grissom.” She reached down and took his head between her hands. It took her a moment to catch his eyes again, because she was momentarily lost in the feel of his curls intertwined between her fingers. But she shook away the thoughts that came with the sensation and asked him clearly, “What did you do with my bag?”

He shut his eyes tightly and drew in a deep breath. Apparently Sara was not the only one who had trouble using their speech faculties. “It’s in the next room… What’s so damned important about your luggage?”

Her mouth turned up into a careful smile and she leaned her forehead into his and whispered, “It’s what’s in the luggage that’s important.” And with that conspicuous statement she pushed away from him and stepped around the chair to find her bag.

Grissom watched in amusement as he noticed that her heels never touched the floor as she walked barefoot across the expansive tiles. She bent over as she rifled through her bag and he was unable to stop himself from tilting his head to the side in order to improve his view of her bottom. Just barely peeking out from under the hem of his shirt he could see that his earlier suspicions had proven true, when he caught a glimpse of her naked ass. It brought a lascivious grin to his face as he raised his head back up and fought to control the pulsing energy that was rapidly building in his crotch.

With his thoughts continuing to head southward, Grissom’s mind instantly popped back into focus, and he desperately tried to get his mind to recall exactly where he had put it.

Grissom decided that since he had a couple of hours before meeting Sara at the art house for the Buster Keaton festival, and it was likely to be the only free time he was going to have for the rest of the week, that he might as well get his packing done for the trip to San Diego. He double checked his suit before placing it in the garment bag, and then picked out the white, tailored dress shirt to wear with it. As he stared at the tie rack he tried to think which tie it was that Sara had liked so much. Running his hands across the rack, he stopped at the deep blue one. That was the one. She had commented on how it made his eyes look and that she thought it shimmered a little in the light.

The rest of his wardrobe was easy, just some work clothes, underwear, various socks, and a couple pairs of pajamas. He also wanted to pack that book that he had been trying to finish for more than a week, but just could not seem to find the time. He thought that if they shared the driving duties, he would finally get that chance. When he reached into his nightstand to retrieve the book, his hand grazed over something else that sparked a thought about the weekend to come.

It had been something of an impulse buy, right after Sara had found him people watching on the campus, but he had rationalized it to himself that “chance favors the prepared mind.” He knew that Pasteur never had that particular instance in mind when he said those famous words, but Gil Grissom was not about to leave that to fate. If and when the time came, he wanted Sara to know that he was a caring and responsible man. It had only been a couple of weeks, but he checked the expiration date before sliding the black and gold box into the interior pocket of his garment bag.

A weekend, away from the lab, alone, with Sara. He carefully closed the pocket and patted it saying, “Just in case.”

He instantly pushed away from the wall and began to attack his garment bag, looking for the pocket which was so easy to access when it was hanging up. When he finally found it, he could hear Sara’s stifled giggles coming from behind him. With the box firmly in his hand, he spun around (the box carefully tucked behind him), and found her joy filled face. He eyed her suspiciously when he noticed that she was also holding something behind her back.

“What’ve you got there?” Grissom raised his brow and it only made Sara giggle more.

With her free hand, she held it over her mouth as she tried to control her girlish laughter and then placed it in the center of his chest when she started to speak, “Now, when I was packing last weekend-”

He could not stop the laugh that escaped his throat and said, “You, too?”

Sara smiled and blushed a little, “Well, with how our weeks usually are, I didn’t think I’d have any other time to do it right.”

“Ditto.” His grin told her that everything people had been saying about them for years was apparently true. They did have some weird mind meld thing going on.

“Well, I started thinking about the weekend, and that we’d be together, away from the lab and well,” Grissom tried to control his amusement as she stumbled through her explanation. “Then I passed by this display at the drugstore and I thought since we’d be at a hotel, and if anything would um, happen, that it wouldn’t be a bad idea to plan ahead… Ya know, just in case…” She paused as she looked up into his sparkling eyes and then slowly brought her other hand into view. Grissom had to hide his surprise at seeing another black and gold box appearing from behind her back. “So, I got these.”

Grissom fought back the smile that was threatening to fall over his countenance as he reached out with his free hand to take the box from her. Her voice met the raise of his eyebrow, as he looked at the box, with a squeak. “No pressure or anything, but when we were, um, making out before, I sort of got the impression that um…y-you might need those.”

He screwed his mouth up into one of those crazy grins that always served to melt her resolve just a little, and then tossed the box onto the couch behind him. When he saw the surprised look on her face, he brought his other hand out in front and handed her the slightly different black and gold box that had been residing in his garment bag all week. “There is something to be said for having like minds.”

She looked up into his eyes and saw the desire hiding behind the humor and then she glanced down at the box he had placed in her hand. It was almost identical to the one she had purchased at the drugstore: identical, except for the red lettering under the brand name. She instantly shot her glance back up at him, and she finally understood the smirk on his face. Without realizing it, there was a flush coming over her and she suddenly felt very warm under his lascivious gaze.

Grissom reached out, brushed the hair away from her face and then leaned in for a kiss. It was sweet and soft and tender and just the thing she needed to help her understand that they truly were on the same page. She reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck as she moved to deepen the kiss, telling him with her actions what her words had been unable to voice.

Instantly, she was wrapped up in his powerful arms, being held to him tightly with her feet dangling just barely off the floor. He leaned back, arching as much as he could to leave her with no ground, and she held onto his neck for dear life. When she felt his hands moving down her back, she nearly yelped when they finally found their destination and took firm hold underneath her ass. He locked his wrists together in order to manage all of her weight in his arms.

Once she understood what he was trying to do, she brought her legs up and wrapped them around his waist, locking her ankles behind his back. Without having to hold herself up with her arms any longer, she returned to kissing him. She kissed his mouth, his ears, his shoulder, his neck, behind his ears, anywhere she could reach without losing her grip on him, or that black and gold box with the important red lettering.

It was not the most graceful retreat to the bedroom, as they staggered their way down the hall. And at one point Sara was fairly certain that they had knocked something off the wall, but his tongue distracted her when it snaked out to run along behind her ear, so she was not entirely sure what, if anything, it was that made that crashing noise.

When they finally made it to the bed, grace was not even a small part of the equation. His legs hit the side of the bed and then they both crashed down into the mattress, not once breaking the impassioned kiss that had kept him from realizing their proximity to the bed. As they did break the kiss in order to come up for air, it was met with instant laughter from them both. With Grissom holding the bulk of his weight away from her by resting on his elbows as he smiled down at her and said, “Well, I guess my reputation for being smooth is pretty much shot.”

Sara’s smile was as bright as he could ever remember having seen it. In fact, he decided he had only seen her smile even half as brightly on two other occasions; when they first met and began their dance of flirtation, and the day she had arrived in Las Vegas. He blew the hair off her forehead and leaned down to kiss it as he thought to himself, This is her best smile.

Her smile began to transform into something else, something inherently and delightfully dangerous. She started running her hands down his smooth chest, over his tender belly, which made him tense as she took notice of his middle aged paunch. She whispered into his ear, “Don’t.” He looked down and saw that her eyes were still filled with her unbelievable desire, turning them into an almost smoky brown. She slowly brought her hands back up and began to run them through his hair. “Gray hair…” She kissed the corners of his eyes. “Creases…” Her hands then went back down his torso, stopping at his belly and giving it a gentle squeeze. “Paunch and all the rest…” She leaned in to whisper once more, “As long as it’s part of you, I’ll love it… All of it.”

He shied away from her intense gaze and mumbled, “Sorry, it’s just hard for me…to believe sometimes…that this is…real.”

She lifted his chin, kissing only his bottom lip as she slid one of her hands up and down his chest. “Does that feel real?”

He inhaled sharply and then exhaled quickly. “Oh yeah.”

Sara smirked at his reaction and then said, “Then quit worrying, and…get working.”

A smile blossomed over his face, and he took the woman’s advice. Grissom wrapped his arms under her back and then rolled them both over in a flash, so that she was on top of him while he covered her mouth with his to stifle her yelp of surprise.

“Better?”

She pushed up from his chest and flashed him an almost feral grin. “Oh yeah.” She leaned back down and captured his mouth in another kiss. As she was getting caught up in having the upper hand, Grissom took advantage of her distraction to begin unbuttoning his shirt. When he started to push the shirt off of Sara’s shoulders, she sat up, bringing her legs up along his sides until she was straddling his waist. “And just what do you think you’re doing?”

As she sat hovering over him, she did not bother to pull the shirt back together, leaving it opened almost to her belly, which gave him a very distracting view, and it took all of his strength of will to look away. He stared straight into her eyes and said, “You said to get working.”

She cocked her eyebrow at his answer and then said, “I did, didn’t I? Hmmmm, but I’m thinking that maybe you’re done…for the moment.” The glint in her eyes made his heart swell and when she dipped her head down to take his nipple into her mouth once again there was an entirely different organ swelling.

He arched his back under her careful caresses, which only made his hips grind up into her. As she began to kiss and wiggle her way down his body, an involuntary moan came from deep down in his throat, sounding very much like a wild animal. Her fingers made concentric circles all along his torso, which increased the contact between them and caused him to sink further into the waves of pleasure that crashed over him.

So consumed with the tendrils of ecstasy rippling over his body, Grissom had completely missed the moment she had reached his pants again, but the instant he felt that next button being popped his eyes shot open with a realization. When he heard her amused chuckling, he knew she had figured it out. He sat bolt straight up and took her hands into his, leaving her seated atop his legs.

Through her smirking expression she asked, “Really, Gris… Commando?”

He brought her hands up to his mouth and kissed them gently with a deceptively shy smile on his face. And then, in another flash, he had flipped her onto her back once more, with his weight holding her into place. “I should be doing laundry right now, but…someone…had…other ideas.”

Then it was his turn to explore her body with his mouth. First he kissed along her neck, then across her right shoulder, alternating between his lips and his tongue across her collarbone, and back up to her neck over her left shoulder. There were only two buttons left done on the shirt, so it offered little resistance to his chosen path. Dragging his lips down her sternum, he stopped every few inches to kiss a new spot, until he reached the space between her breasts.

First, he drug his bearded cheek along the inside of her left breast, and then turned his head to drag the opposite cheek along the inside of the right one. Once he reached the apex of the right breast, he stopped and then lifted his head slightly, sending his heated breath over the nipple and bringing a near silent whimper from her slightly open mouth. And in one amorous moment he took the peak into his mouth, applying only the slightest suction to bring it further into a state of arousal. When it popped from his lips, it was taut and wet from his ministrations. That was when he blew a cool breath over the dampened flesh and watched as it pebbled into full hardness. The smile on his face as Sara groaned at his handiwork was dangerous. Without a moment’s hesitation, he repeated the same process on the other breast and watched as she added an arched back to her moan of approval.

Delighted with his progress, Grissom began to lick and kiss his way down to her flat and smooth belly. He brought his gaze up just long enough to undo those last buttons and pushed the shirt out of his way. He wanted to see her, all of her, and know that the reactions in her body were because of him. He wanted to watch each writhing muscle, each bead of sweat forming, and every motion her body made under his touch.

When his tongue made contact with the lines and curves over her stomach, he felt Sara’s hands reach out for the sides of his head, twining her long, luscious fingers into his dampened curls. At first he thought she was guiding him lower and he took in a deep breath through his nose, catching hold of her natural scent as the air entered his body, causing him to grow even more aroused than he could ever remember being. Then he felt her tugging at his head, straining to pull him back to her again. He took the signal and slowly made his way back to her face.

Once they were back on the same level again, Sara buried her head into the crook of his neck and then brought her mouth to his ear. “Gris… Now.” He was shocked by her words and had to look at her to fully understand what she was saying. In her eyes, he saw a need that shook him to the core. And he knew she was serious when she handed him the single foil packet. While he had been busy exploring her body, she had found the box, opened it and retrieved a single condom.

He smiled at her, and kissed her swollen and trembling lips. “Are you sure?”

His answer came in an undeniable gesture. She grabbed the back of his head with one hand and brought his lips crushing into hers with a deliciously passionate kiss. Her other hand had snaked its way into his partially opened jeans, wound her fingers fully around him, freed his flesh from the restricting denim and began to stroke along his length. As the pulsing energy started to ramp up to his breaking point, Grissom had all the answer he needed.

He closed his eyes for a moment, relished in the feel of her tongue as it danced with his and the intense sensation of her hand pumping him into full arousal before he pulled away from the kiss and sat up on his haunches.

Grissom maneuvered enough to be able to stand up, and then shucked the last of the jeans, leaving him naked, in all of his middle aged glory, before her. Sara propped herself up with her elbows behind her and gave him all the encouragement he needed. She leaned on one elbow and then reached out her hand to him. “Grissom…”

Carefully he came back down onto the bed with his knees and crawled to her once more. Spreading his body over hers, he enveloped her tiny frame beneath his weight and kissed her waiting lips. In one hand, he held the condom she had given to him, and with the other he stroked her cheek. Then he trailed the backs of his fingers down her neck, down along the outside of her breast, skated over her ribs, tickled down her side, traced the ridge of her hip and then finally slid them along the top of her thigh, rounding into the junction of her legs. He captured her mouth in yet another passionate embrace as he plied her other lips with his middle finger, and at the moment of contact he felt as though she was trying to extract the air from his lungs with her gasp.

With his thumb, he found his way to her nub and began to slowly stroke it, as he made absolutely certain that she was ready for the next step in their journey. When he felt her hips beginning to gyrate of their own accord, Sara clenched her fingers in his hair and pulled his lips away from hers long enough to tell him exactly how ready she was. He nodded, kissed her nose and rolled slightly onto his side in order to open the wrapper and prepare himself for that next step.

Her breathing came through in ragged gasps as he quickly finished his task. Grissom then reached over and pulled Sara on top of him. At first, she looked surprised, but then she realized what he was doing. She looked into his eyes, and saw her own need reflected back at her, but she also saw his fear. It was their first time together, and he wanted her to control how far they went. She pushed off from his chest for a moment and then bent down to kiss his lips.

When she brought herself back up, she was once again straddled around his waist, only this time, there were no barriers between them. She quickly shed his shirt from her shoulders and then reached behind her so that she would be able to guide him into her. As she wriggled into position, she found that he had one hand resting at the top of her thigh and the other helping to guide her down.

As the tip made contact with her center, his other hand moved to the opposite thigh and he waited for her to make the next move. She looked down at his face and saw the serene concentration on his brow as he kept his eyes shut while he focused on maintaining his control. She smiled, knowing that he could not see it, but unable to keep it from forming on her lips none the less.

She dropped lower and she felt the head enter her. Sara closed her eyes under the waves of pleasure already starting to soar through her, and that was when she felt his thumb once again stroking her, as he kept her on the brink and allowed her to continue on. She went lower, taking more of him inside of her and then she heard Grissom moan under the contact. That was all the confidence she needed, so she buried him into her fully as she cried out with the fullness of the act.

Grisssom’s eyes shot open as he felt himself become completely enveloped within her walls. Then she screamed, and he worried about her pain, but as his eyes focused on her face, he could see that her head was thrown back and her face bore a rapturous expression of sheer pleasure, and he smiled. Within moments, she had started rocking in time with the stroke of his thumb. And soon it was no longer enough, so she planted her palms into his chest and used it for leverage.

Grissom matched her rocking motions with the thrust of his hips, and before long he was unable to keep up the stroking with his thumb in favor of gripping onto her hips to increase the contact and depth of their thrusts. He could feel it as she started clamping down around him, but her legs became weak and she collapsed onto his chest, as her breaths came in heaving gasps.

She whimpered into his ear, and he quickly rolled them over so that Sara was on her back. Her groans and the incredible emptiness he felt told him that they had come undone in the process and so he lifted up on one arm and guided himself back within her walls with a single, fluid thrust. She arched into him as he entered her and clutched at his back as he positioned himself over her.

Wrapping her left leg around his hip, she gave him added purchase as his first thrust crashed into her, sending her closer and closer to the brink. Thrust, repost, over and over he worked himself into and through her, taking every ounce of energy he had in his body to bring her to that blissful state of ecstasy, and still she urged him on, begging him for more.

Pulling himself up onto his stiffened arms, he gave himself a better angle, as his back arched and contracted with each thrust of his hips. When she suddenly cried out, he felt her walls contract around him in a cascade of spasms. The sensation was simply too much, and it triggered his own climax in a breathy and violent fit, sending him collapsing on top of her, with Sara clutching him to her with the very last of her strength, as she stroked his soaking wet hair and whispered into his ear the depth and breadth of her love for him.

Within a few moments, once the oxygen and the blood started circulating through his brain once more, he realized that he needed to get up. When he reached down to extract himself from her, she grabbed at his arms to stop him. He looked up at her and grinned. “If I don’t it would defeat the purpose of having worn it.” She blushed at his words and he leaned up to kiss her gently, before completing his task. Once free, he painfully got out of the bed and tossed the condom into the waste basket. He struggled to stay on his feet as he looked for something to clean up with, and then he spotted the folded towels that sat on top of the hamper. Grabbing them, he quickly handed the first one to Sara, who shyly accepted it and as he stumbled back towards the bed he made quick work of himself before falling back down onto the bed with a loud and distinct thud.

As he laid back, he reached out for her and pulled Sara on top of him once again, then he draped the last towel over the spot on the bed they had just vacated. She pushed off of his chest and regarded him with a curious glare. He lowered his gaze and chuckled as he pulled her back to him. “Just in case, by some miracle, I happen to roll you over.”

Sara nuzzled into his chest and giggled at his insinuation and then the devil took over. “Well, I’d have to say, for an old guy…that was pretty damn impressive.”

His laughter vibrated in her ear and shook her whole body. “Yeah, well, I had my Geritol this morning.”

She slid down onto his left side, with her leg still draped over his and said, “Well, then you better start sharing if I’m gonna be able to keep up.” They were both laughing at the ridiculousness of their post-coital banter, but if they were honest, it was the only way they knew how to be.

Sara was just about to drift off into sleep when something caught her eye. She raised up and turned her head to the wall facing the bed and found four lithographs staring at her. Four very familiar lithographs. “Grissom?”

He was farther into dreamland than she had been when he responded, “Hmmmmm?”

“I know you said you had prints of those paintings, but you didn’t tell me where they were…”

“Yeah?”

“You kept paintings that you claim reminded you of me, in your bedroom?”

Grissom’s eyes popped open in an instant when he realized what she was insinuating. A blush fell over his entire body and then he answered with a wry smile. “Yes?”

She laughed into his shoulder and asked, “Can I ask you why?”

Grissom cringed under her scrutiny and tried to recover using his wit. “How about we call it inspiration?” Sara’s body shook against his as her laughter took control of her. He had to find something that would turn the tables in that conversation. And then it dawned on him. “So, since I have the real thing now… Should I give those to Greg?”

As he waited for the ringing to leave his left ear, Grissom knew that he would feel that punch to his ribs for a very long time.

Epilogue

They had been working the O’Neill case for a couple of nights, and when they finished up that morning, neither one had enough energy to light a candle, let alone anything more strenuous than that. However, when they woke up early that afternoon it had been an entirely different story, and Sara was now taking her second shower of the day. But she was not about to complain about the reason.

As she stepped out of the shower, she wrapped herself up in one of the bath sheets Grissom had left out on the vanity for her. He had been the first one up from their second nap, so Sara had found an empty bed when the smells from the kitchen came wafting into Grissom’s bedroom. The smile on her face came from a lot of things; the fact that she had woken up in Grissom’s bed, that he was busy in the kitchen fixing them something to eat, that she was sleeping better than she could ever remember, and that for the first time in her life she was willing to just let things happen and not obsess over all the details.

She smiled again as she began to towel off her hair. This new phase of their relationship was barely a week old, but it felt right, to both of them. Sara seemed to rarely make it back to her apartment in all that time, and the one day she had been there it was with Grissom.

It was a completely unfamiliar concept to them both, and they both agreed to keep it to themselves while they worked it all out. Sara was worried about how they were going to interact at work, but so far they seemed to be doing well with the whole thing. Their working relationship had improved months ago, so no one seemed to even notice a difference as they worked cases. She suspected that there would come a time that one of them would slip up, but they could only hope that their friends and colleagues would welcome the change in their relationship.

Sara dropped the towel onto the vanity and grabbed the toothbrush that Grissom had bought for her the day before. She had finally taken her suitcase home, and when she found herself waking up at Grissom’s once more, she was about to hop into her car to run home, in order to make it to work in time. However, Grissom had gotten up early and gone down to the drugstore to pick up a few things for her, including a toothbrush and the toothpaste she always used. She knew they were going to have to discuss the living arrangements at some point very soon, but for the time being she would just see how things panned out. She needed to make sure she kept even more extra clothes in her car until they sorted it all out.

Just as she had managed to work in the toothpaste and had a mouthful of minty foam, her whole body cringed with the sounds of banging coming through the walls of the bathroom. She poked her head outside of the bathroom door to find Grissom standing there with a hammer. On the floor all along the hallway were the butterfly cases he used for decoration. She tried to smile with a mouthful of toothpaste as she recalled that first trip down the hall towards the bathroom and the case that had managed to break on the way.

She swallowed the toothpaste in her mouth and asked, “Why did you take all the cases down? I thought we only broke the one.”

Grissom turned to greet her with a broad smile. “That would be correct. Lepidoptera Nymphalidae.”

Sara scanned her memory to recall the common name of the species he was referring to and then she said, “Brush-Footed Butterflies, several native only to California, right?”

He walked towards her and said, “Very good…” He then leaned in to plant a kiss on her lips. When he pulled away he smirked, “Hmmm… Minty.”

She giggled at the look on his face as he went back to start picking up the cases two at a time. “But why are you taking them all down?”

“Well…” he called from the office where he disappeared with the cases and then came back out, “…they were part of a set, and since the set has been permanently altered, it doesn’t feel right to keep up an incomplete set.”

“What was the set?” Sara’s face betrayed her confusion.

“Danidae, Hesperiidae, Lycaenidae, Megathymidae, Nymphalidae, Papilionidae, Pieridae, and Riodinidae specimens of a very elite grouping.” Grissom was wearing that enigmatic grin on the corner of his mouth as he passed her with another armful of cases.

Sara tried to recall everything she knew about butterflies to piece together the connection between the families he had listed off, and then it hit her in an instant. “Those are all in California, aren’t they?”

“Still the teacher’s pet.” He kissed her on the cheek as he came back for the last load of cases. “The Lepidoptera Nymphalidae case was crushed during our little trip down the hall, and two of the species were damaged beyond all hope; Nymphalis californica and Junonia coenia.”

Sara’s became pained as he told of the demise of some of his beloved butterfly collection. She knew he had spent a lifetime collecting the specimens that adorned the walls of his home. She tried to work out in her mind how she was going to be able to help him to replace the creatures, but she knew so little about the process.

When her eyes met his as he walked back into the hallway, she shied away for a moment and he reached out for Sara and took her into his arms. “Don’t worry… The most important one is just fine. The others can be replaced without much trouble; just a trip to my mother’s garden at the right time of year.” He placed a final kiss on her forehead before he pulled away. “Besides, the most important case was completely untouched. Surprisingly, we didn’t even bump it.”

Her curiosity took over and she had to ask, “What case was that?”

“Lepidoptera Pieridae”

Sara’s brow became creased with his answer, because she could not understand what was so special about a case of common Whites and Sulfurs. “I don’t get it, why is that one important?”

“Because I have the two most perfect, and largest specimens of Anthocharis sara sara ever recorded in that case.” Her memory was failing her on the species name as she watched him measuring the spaces between the four remaining hangars. When he turned to see her pensive expression he chuckled and said, “Commonly known as the Sara Orange-Tip Butterfly.” Once the realization dawned on her, the blush that rose in her cheeks made him laugh out loud. “Of course there’s also the whole case of them in my office, but the best ones are in this one.” He kissed her cheek again as he walked past her on his way into the bedroom.

Sara went back into the bathroom to return to brushing her teeth as she tried to compose herself after having learned a little more about Grissom. It had barely been more than a week since things got serious between them, but in that time Sara had quickly discovered that there were a multitude of things that had been staring her in the face for years which had betrayed his feelings for her and yet, no one ever saw them. Each time she learned of another clue, she worried less about their relationship being revealed to their co-workers, because it was obvious that Grissom was really good at hiding in plain sight.

As she finished up, Sara remembered that her clothes were still out in the car, so she called out to Grissom, “Hey, Gris… Can you grab my clothes from the c-” She stopped when she found him in the hallway hanging up the last of four frames that he had put in place of the cases. She stood there with her mouth hanging open, still wrapped up in the towel. “What are you doing?”

“What? Should I change the order?” Grissom stood back to inspect the lithographs he had just hung. “Hmmm… It is a little different than being on both sides of a window, isn’t it?” He takes two of the frames down and then rearranged them on the wall. “There we go… Better?”

Sara simply shook her head and said, “Why did you take them out of the bedroom?”

Grissom sighed and thought about his answer for a moment, and then the corner of his mouth turned up into a grin as he said, “Well, I still want to see them, because they really are beautiful pieces and they were given to me by my mother-”

“Your mother gave them to you?!” Sara was in total shock with that little fact.

“Well, yes… She saw how much I liked them when we were at the original show, so she arranged to get me a set of the lithographs when they were available. Mallett is an amazing artist, after all, and it made her happy to be able to share that with me.” Grissom’s explanation put Sara a little more at ease, but it still felt odd considering the circumstances. “Besides, it’s not like I told her why they had intrigued me.” He winked at her with that admission and she felt much better.

They both looked back at the wall to make certain it was exactly right. When Sara put her arm around Grissom’s waist, they knew it was perfect. “Yes, and now I can have my own little private joke.”

She turned her head to look at his face as she asked, “And what would that be?”

Sara could see that he was grinning, and obviously enjoyed the humor of the moment. When he spoke, she was floored again, “If you look at the pieces from the living room towards the bedroom, you’ll see you as I have seen you. The first piece is titled, Mystique, then Énigmatique, followed by Poise, and then finally we have La Seductrice. When we first met, you were a mystery I wanted to solve. Once I got to know you, I spent most of my time confused and fascinated by your charms. Then I became impressed with your grace and poise after everything we had been through. And finally, I was defeated by everything you had to offer, and completely seduced by everything about you.”

Sara turned her body to face him and said, “You know, if we didn’t have to go to work… I’d show you exactly how I feel about this.”

“If we didn’t have to go to work right now…” Grissom held her tightly to him when he continued, “I wouldn’t have bothered with hanging pictures.” They exchanged a long and meaningful kiss as they held each other in the hallway. When they broke from the kiss, Grissom sucked in a lungful of air and added, “And if I don’t get your clothes out of the car, we’re both going to be very late for work.” He looked down, and Sara realized that her towel had come loose and was only being held up by the pressing of their bodies. She reached down to hold the towel and Grissom reluctantly turned towards the front door.

Before long they were both dressed and ready for work. They exchanged one last kiss before getting into their own cars and leaving for the lab. Sara had planned to stop at her apartment on the way to get a fresh change of clothes, and to insure that they did not arrive at the lab together. They were still working the O’Neill case together, along with everyone else on Graves, but they had to maintain a certain amount of professional distance in order to continue to keep their relationship private.

When Sara got to the lab, she learned that Catherine had gone out with P.D. to check on a lead, so she went to Grissom’s office to see if the report from Trace had come in yet. “Have we gotten anything on the ring, yet?” His head popped up at the sound of her voice and he gave her a smile when he found her leaning against his doorframe.

“Ah, not yet… Maybe we should go check on those in case Catherine has something for us from her lead.” He closed the folder he had been looking at and got up from behind his desk to follow her to the Trace Lab.

Once they reached the lab they found Hodges looking into a reflective surface with a Sharpie in his hand and it looked as though he was using the black marker on the gray in his hair. They stopped to watch as the technician actually ran the marker through his hair, and they both exchanged amused looks before Grissom decided to interrupt the activity.

“Vanity, thy name is Hodges.” Hodges took on a deer caught in the headlights look and quickly capped the marker to hide it from his visitors.

“This isn't what it looks like. I actually like my gray hair. The few that I have.” He was acting like a guilty man under the spotlight as he fumbled through his explanation.

Sara smiled and softly said, “Hodges, don't you know that gray hair can be very attractive?”

Grissom stiffened his back and looked at Sara in complete disbelief that she had just said that to Hodges. The look that Hodges gave Sara led Grissom to believe that the man was trying to find more meaning in the words.

Sara smiled somewhat nervously and asked, “The ring?” She was anxious to move the focus off of her.

It obviously worked, because Hodges practically fell over himself to reengage in the conversation, and then nodded almost automatically as he responded, “The ring?” He shook himself out of his stupor and turned to get the results as he reported. “The ring… The ring was positive for GSR.” He handed the results to Grissom and watched curiously as Sara read them over his shoulder.

“That means Lois could be the shooter.”

Grissom tilted his head to the side and concluded, “I guess we'll have to bring her in.”

They both walked out of the room, with Grissom headed straight for his office. Sara followed quickly behind him when she saw the raise of his eyebrow as they left the Trace Lab. Upon entering his office, he turned to her and asked, “Do you think you could try a little harder next time to let on what’s happening?”

Sara was a little surprised by his sarcastic question. “Grissom… If we stop flirting altogether, that would be more suspicious than anything else we could do.”

Instantly, he knew the wisdom of her words and he bowed his head before he said, “Fine… But could you at least not try so hard around Hodges? He’s enough of an office gossip as it is, so it’s not like we actually need to give him any real ammo.”

Sara struggled to stifle her smile through her pursed lips. “Are you kidding? Anything we say in front of Hodges is free… After all, who’s gonna believe a word that comes out of that little worm’s mouth?”

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