DATE: February 2010
AUTHOR: LosingInTranslation (losingntrnslatn,
Jennifer)
DISCLAIMER: Don’t own anything
associated with the show… I just like playing with the characters in it from
time to time. Dance Monkeys! Dance!
RATING: T - Teen
SPOILERS: Post Ep for S05XE01 - “Faceless Nameless.”
PAIRINGS: None
WORD COUNT: 757
SUMMARY: Hotch recalls the attack as he deals with the reality
it has wrought. Heavy Angst
A/N: A rabid demonic plot
bunny infected my brain following a conversation about the episode. My beta did
the once over, but I’ve since played with it, so any errors are mine.
REVIEWS: Reviews are the way
I know if people are enjoying the work or not. So, if you leave one, THANKS!
And if not, I hope you found at least a little something to brighten your day,
and thanks for taking the time to read.
WHAT
DID HE TAKE?
“Can
you remember what happened?” The warm softness of Emily’s voice is a direct
contrast to the cold and mechanical sounds of the ICU.
In
a blinding flash of unbelievable agony, Hotch is
assaulted with every single moment of his attack. Coming home, pouring a drink
and then finding he was not alone. Foyet’s voice,
dark and sinister, echoes loudly in his head, thundering until his ears begin
to throb with every word.
His
voice graveled with pain, Hotch asks, “What did he
take?” Hotch quickly gets back to business,
questioning the others until he understands exactly what Foyet’s
plan could be. But even after they ascertain the killer’s intentions and launch
into action, he is still asking himself, What did he take?
Closing
his eyes on the bloodied image of his wife and son, Hotch
tries to block out the pain and the worry. And that is when the night before
begins to play out in his mind again.
Foyet was there, waiting. He knows there has to be some way to
get out this, but the only thing he can hear are his father’s words, “Never
show them any fear.” The shot freezes his soul, but it doesn’t break him.
“Is this part of my
profile? You can’t show me fear? You said that like you actually meant it.” He
knows what to do and he stands firm, not once betraying his fear.
Instead, he
challenges Foyet. “Are you here to kill me or are you
here to play games?”
“You tell me.
Enlighten me about my behavior.” But it’s not the fear that betrays Hotch,
it’s his anger and his arrogance when he attempts to charge Foyet.
Lying prone on the
ground, feeling as much humiliation as he does pain, Hotch
struggles to regain his senses as Foyet looms over
him. “So, tell me…would I use this?”
His
mind explodes with the memories of each plunge of the knife. The cold steel invading
the space just below his breast bone, slicing at the connective tissue holding
his ribs to the sternum and carving away the muscle until it sat like dry ice
between his organs; a burning cold that felt like life itself was being killed.
Every millimeter of knife thrust into his body representing an agonizing
reminder of his failure. But it was when Foyet
extracted the knife that Hotch truly felt the pain. Pulling
it out so slowly it could only be described as a slide, to him it was as though
Foyet was taking a little piece of his soul with it
and leaving an emptiness behind, along with the gaping
hole in his flesh.
Over
and over and over again, Foyet buried the knife in
his chest, in his abdomen, and each time he could feel it enter. He tried to
calculate the exact location of each impact based on Foyet’s
position and the flood of sensations coursing through him with every intrusion.
If he could just focus on the mechanics of it all, he could stay conscious.
When
Foyet stopped, leaning in closer, it took everything
he had to whisper, “I will kill you.” But Foyet was
far from done with him.
His
words took on an almost conspiratorial tone, and he spoke in a whisper that
would usually be reserved for pillow talk. The whole time he babbled on about
the use of a knife and impotency, he only served to confirm the prevailing
profile theories. It may have sounded like a bunch of psychological nonsense,
but Hotch knows this is Foyet’s
only means of foreplay. Violence is his only sex. Foyet
needs the fear and the control to achieve his ultimate high. He needs it more
than he needs oxygen. And the growing erection Foyet
pressed into his abdomen was physical proof of that theory.
Maybe this will
change the way that you profile.
Foyet was right about that, because the experience
would absolutely change his profiling. It makes him trust their work even more.
Right
now, that work is telling Hotch this isn’t over. He
didn’t give him what he wanted. He didn’t show him that fear he craved and he
never gave him any of the control he needs. Killing Hotch
is not his final act. That’s why he took the page from his planner. That’s why
Haley and Jack have to go. That need for fear and control is why his heart
feels like it took every single plunge of that knife.
And
that’s when he knows…
What did he take?
“He’s
taken everything.”